Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Why Judicial Officers must Understand the Elements of Child Abuse

Despite 40 years of funding for Child Protective Services there appears to be no abatement in the abuse and neglect of children. Beyond the preventative measures come the interventions which can ultimately lead to the termination of parental rights following a hearing before a judge. Most don't make it to that level though. However, judicial officers are still involved along the way in the vast majority of cases and they need to be cognizant of the signs and elements of abuse if they are going to make placement decisions that protect children. In a case where the parents are separated or divorced then consideration of placement with the other parent must be made pursuant to IC 31-34-4-2.

An ongoing case involving the physical and emotional abuse of a child in Marshal County is illustrative of why it is important for our judicial officers to be trained in recognizing the harm of abuse and what constitutes abuse – which is still a hotly contested topic. In this case the child has alleged abuse against him from age four to seven years.

According to court documents the child's father, Christopher Warren, admits “that he struck the child in the mouth for lying” and that he lost his temper again and hit the child. A 2010 DCS petition to declare the child a CHiNS alleges that the boy then "stated that his father had given him the marks that morning and told him not to tell anyone." The boy said "his father hit him 5 times in the head” according to the document. In late 2011 DCS again removed the child and pushed for him to be declared a CHiNS but Judge Curtis Palmer refused. Instead, Judge Palmer cited in his denial of the petition that it alleged “that the father has inflicted minor injuries”, "[n]o medical attention was necessary”, and that "[t]he only evidence that the father caused the injuries comes from statements the four-year-old child made to others."

Those findings are clearly intended to obfuscate the harm being inflicted upon the child and the father's culpability. First and foremost is that the child is in the care and custody of his father. The boy's mother, Amber McNeal, has previously been adjudged unfit as a parent. Thus, whatever happens to the boy is the responsibility of the father. While not intended as subject matter for this posting there may be disparate treatment here of parents based upon gender. I have written about the maternal preference and mothers being held to a higher standard in custody cases. In this case the distinction between harms caused by the father is incidental – being either neglect or an affirmative act bordering on criminal conduct. As to the injuries these are not “minor” except when strictly limited in scope to the physical impact upon the boy's body. The serious injuries to this child are to his emotional well-being and his character and consciousness which are forming at this age. This boy lives in a chaotic word where he is not having appropriate parenting, conflict resolution or discipline techniques modeled to him.

He likely lacks a sense of security in a family structure or safety within the home. In short, the father has inflicted an ongoing psychological trauma against his son. Already the boy has allegedly stated two years ago "I just want to kill myself." Words like this should not come from a child just entering elementary school or at any other time for that matter. Clearly a judicial officer aware of such anxiety in a young boy should not maintain the status quo of the circumstances where such trauma is inflicted.

I recently began working on an appeal of a ruling by Judge Palmer in which a child who had been alleged to have been sexually abused by her father was ordered to be returned to him although CPS and the child's therapist believed her allegations. I recently wrote about reporting inconsistencies of children disclosing sexual abuse
“Few make an outright spontaneous report of all the details. This is why it may take multiple attempts and result in conflicts in the reporting. The adult receiving the report must be appropriately responsive to the child's reporting methodology or the child will regress in the reporting process. It is this type of sporadic rather than chronological reporting that results in some untrained judges failing to acknowledge or confirm the abuse. The consequences can be that a child is placed with an abuser because the practitioners and judge thought it was a custody ploy.”

Determining the veracity of an abuse allegation is a substantial burden for a judicial officer. The placement of the child which can be in a protective environment or back with the person who has inflicted the harm and may retaliate is the onus undertaken by someone who may have no more training in the abuse spectrum than a law degree. Children have different methods by which they disclose abuse. Those who forensically examine these disclosures must be attuned to the child's temperament, the psychological impact that the alleged abuse would have been likely to produce and an understanding of typical disclosure inconsistencies. It is for these reasons that judges must avail themselves of forensic training or the opinions of us experts in this field before undertaking the onus of determining the probability that abuse occurred and where the child would be most protected from further acts of abuse.

I am not one who is eager to have the government invade the sanctity of the home and dictate discipline and punishment techniques. When a child has been reduced to nothing more than a punching bag for an incompetent and unloving parent, as in this case, then there is a clear need for the child to be protected. In this case the boy has two parents who do not care about his welfare over their own desires and needs the intervention of the state to protect him.

Unfortunately the lack of understanding on the part of Judge Palmer of what constitutes abuse and neglect has left a child in harm's way. While the physical wounds which Palmer refers to as “minor” will readily heal while the child is properly nourished the psychological scars will run much deeper and greater in duration. It will take the assistance of many people to mitigate this damage and give this boy the zest for life that most hold and forever let the days be in the past in which he says "I just want to kill myself."

Virginia Black of the South Bend Tribune has written more about this boy. where much of my information about this case was obtained.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Make a suggestion for me to write about.


Parents who would like to achieve the best outcome for their children in a contested child custody case should visit my website and contact my scheduler to make an appointment to meet with me. Attorneys may request a free consultation to learn how I can maximize their advocacy for their clients.

Connect with me for the latest Indiana child custody related policy considerations, findings, court rulings and discussions.

View Stuart Showalter's profile on LinkedIn



Subscribe to my child custody updates

* indicates required
©2008, 2013 Stuart Showalter, LLC. Permission is granted to all non-commercial entities to reproduce this article in it's entirety with credit given.

StuartShowalter.com

Monday, May 27, 2013

Integrity, policy and respect - 2013 Indianapolis Motor Speedway bicycle policy - Indy 500

Any organization can be measured by the respect, or lack thereof, shown by employees to customers. It is when those employees show disrespect to customers and the response by the organization that demonstrates their integrity. A part of the response should come in the form of well written policies that are adequately explained to the employees. Additionally, these policies that affect the customers should be readily available and promoted to the customers.

The reputation of an organization as well as it's legal culpability can be damaged or compromised by “ghost policies” that are made up on the spot by employees in response to their personal biases. Such an organization is the Indianapolis Motor Speedway Corporation. I wrote about my experience with riding a bicycle to the IMS in 2011 and the disrespect that I was shown when I was told "Just get out!". Or perhaps it was the religious iconography that dangled from a chain around my neck.



Clearly there is no bicycle policy that prevents bicycles from being on IMS property which “includes that fence”. The same fence shown in the photo to which I asked if I could lock my bicycle to before being told to “just get out!”

The response from the IMS chief executive to my letter requesting an explanation - nothing. They still ask for my money each year though which they do not get. I attend through a sitting in a block of corporate tickets.

The IMS corporation clearly lacks integrity and respect for its' customers.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Make a suggestion for me to write about.


Parents who would like to achieve the best outcome for their children in a contested child custody case should visit my website and contact my scheduler to make an appointment to meet with me. Attorneys may request a free consultation to learn how I can maximize their advocacy for their clients.

Connect with me for the latest Indiana child custody related policy considerations, findings, court rulings and discussions.

View Stuart Showalter's profile on LinkedIn



Subscribe to my child custody updates

* indicates required
©2008, 2014 Stuart Showalter, LLC. Permission is granted to all non-commercial entities to reproduce this article in it's entirety with credit given.

StuartShowalter.com

Friday, May 24, 2013

What Constitutes Rape? or Is Pleading for Sex Really “Forced”

Words convey thoughts, images and actions in very precise form and when used accurately can communicate those in a way that allows both speaker and listener to share those mutually. Perceiving an image can evoke vivid or lucid thoughts that lead to action. This is why it is important to maintain the integrity of the use and definitions applied to words.

Governor Daniels will sign into law HEA 1423 an anti-bullying measure on 04 June 2013. [I'll provide more details later] I support this law because it clearly defines and limits what constitutes “bullying”. There has been an effort by some to broaden the definition to included “teasing” which has raised my opposition to many anti-bullying policies or actions. Similarly, definitions of Domestic Violence are all over the place. Some so-called advocates want family budgeting to be considered an act of Domestic Violence because it limits a spouse from have 100% free reign to unilaterally expend the marital funds. To me these overly broad definitions, or more appropriately misapplication of the word, cheapen the acts and don't elicit the visceral response to those most egregiously affected who deserve to have us compelled to action.

So when I observed an interactive demonstration about teen sex issues I was rather upset at a response to a comment of mine. The scenario was a high school couple at a party who had recently begun dating. The boy was wanting sex and the girl insisted that she had already told him she wasn't ready. He went all-out with the charm including a subtle shoulder rub and said “I'm not talking about doing anything to you that can get you pregnant.” Each of her denials was met by another shrewd, charming comeback.

The audience members did not respond very favourably to this guy. I spoke up and said I think that he did a great job of honouring his hormone induced mandate to promote survival of the specie while not being forceful about it. [The previous skit had been a couple in which the boy was forcefully groping the girl over her objections although it was done in a playful manner and she was laughing throughout] But my comment elicited a retort from another gentleman who proclaimed, in a somewhat incensed tone, that, “He was being very forceful!”

Force must include a power imbalance either by physical strength or means, or by way of limitation on free will such as being an employer or in the case of this scenario, if he had provided transportation to the party. If he had said we either do this or you have to walk home and it is late at night in an area where young girls are likely to be assaulted then that would be force. But the statements, “I'm not gonna play you. You know I'm not like those other guys.” or “You said you love me so let's just go up there, put on some romantic music and let what happens happen.” and “You already said you had sex with your last boyfriend and you didn't like him as much as you do me.” While these were all intended to coerce her into satisfying his desires they were not statements or threats of force. They clearly would not be what could rightfully be classified as 'very forceful' attempts at sex such as physical restraints, a beating or threats with a knife.

The image of a girl being forced to have sex evokes images of screaming, crying, hitting, bleeding and cowering. To equate schmoozing a girl repeatedly in an effort to get her to give in to the physical act of rape is a travesty to those who have suffered the violence of rape. Coercion is coercion. Persuasion is persuasion. Force is force. They each have their own meaning and convey thoughts, images and actions distinct from each other and should remain so if the most severe of injustices are to give people rise to taking action.

If you would like assistance in protecting your child against potential sexual assault or have a child custody case involving that then please visit my website and contact my scheduler to make an appointment to meet with me. There is no charge for initial attorney consultations.

If you would like to follow my activities more closely then send a friend request to my Political FaceBook page.

Subscribe to this blawg.

More information about child custody rights and procedures may be found on the Indiana Custodial Rights Advocates website.

©2008, 2013 Stuart Showalter, LLC. Permission is granted to all non-commercial entities to reproduce this article in it's entirety with credit given.

Monday, May 20, 2013

Most Parents Encourage Sexual Abuse of Their Children

You read that correctly and very likely you may be a parent who is encouraging your child to be sexually abused without even realizing it. Child sexual abuse is estimated to affect 1 in 4 females and 1 in 6 males prior to the age of 18. Often it is the result of the unintended consequence of circumstances created by parents and reinforced by society at large. The proliferation of child sexual abuse is the real Inconvenient Truth that our society does not like to admit and maintains as a taboo.

Throughout this year I will be presenting to you multiple postings regarding different aspects of child sexual abuse. I am not going to be subtle about these messages. I am not assessing blame or trying to label anyone as a negligent parent. Instead I am seeking only to expose common behaviours that contribute to the sexual abuse of children and provide guidance on how to protect your children.

In this first posting I will be attacking the use of euphemisms for sexual activities and body parts. I am not going to go through the parade of absurd labels for a penis or a vagina. Many of these are well-known while some are exclusive to a particular parent and child set.

I have had children self-report sexual abuse to me. Sometimes children are very blunt in their reports but most often they exhibit trepidation and test the adult's openness to receiving the report. Few make an outright spontaneous report of all the details. This is why it may take multiple attempts and result in conflicts in the reporting. The adult receiving the report must be appropriately responsive to the child's reporting methodology or the child will regress in the reporting process. It is this type of sporadic rather than chronological reporting that results in some untrained judges failing to acknowledge or confirm the abuse. The consequences can be that a child is placed with an abuser because the practitioners and judge thought it was a custody ploy.

As a general proposition we have placed the onus of preventing child sexual abuse on the children – “just say no”, good touch, bad touch and etc. I contend that such efforts are doomed when coupled with the practices of parents. I believe that parents have a mandate to prevent sexual abuse of their children and that it only happens when parents allow it to happen.

If a child came to you and said that “The babysitter put a magic wand in my treasure box” what would your response be? If a child came to you and said that “The babysitter put a vibrator in my vagina” what would your response be? It should be the same; an immediate contact with a parent and possibly a report to law enforcement. But that is not the reality. In the first instance an adult may reply, “Well that was nice of her” – conditioning the child that sexual abuse is an acceptable and “nice” behaviour. This is directly the result of a parent or guardian failing to properly educate the child about his or her anatomy. Males have a penis, females have a vagina.

From the perspective of the perpetrator who is surveying for potential victims the use of euphemisms and slang terminology for the sexual anatomy and acts identifies a susceptible mark. The reason for this is that when a perpetrator grooms a child for abuse – a process that make take years – it is dependent upon maintaining trust, secrecy and the feeling of a special relationship. The improper naming of the child's anatomy signals to the perpetrator that this child does not have a healthy relationship with a responsible adult about sexuality and what is inappropriate behaviour or contact. Thus, the child's education about his or her sexuality has been relegated to the abuser. The perpetrator can also expand the child's perception that his or her sexuality is secret and private by encouraging the child to maintain the secrecy of the abuse.

When a child knows the proper terms for his or her anatomy this is a clear signal to a potential abuser that this child has been informed about his or her sexuality. The time to teach children about this is concurrent with the teaching about other parts of the child's anatomy.

If you don't feel that you can openly discuss any sexual related issue with your child at anytime – at your prompting – then you don't need to do that because others will readily do this for you. They include child sex abusers, rape counselors, psychological therapists, divorce attorneys, probation officers and judges imposing criminal penalties.

So make the decision about who is going to teach your child about his or her sexuality and child sexual abuse and then act upon it.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Make a suggestion for me to write about.


Parents who would like to achieve the best outcome for their children in a contested child custody case should visit my website and contact my scheduler to make an appointment to meet with me. Attorneys may request a free consultation to learn how I can maximize their advocacy for their clients.

Connect with me for the latest Indiana child custody related policy considerations, findings, court rulings and discussions.

View Stuart Showalter's profile on LinkedIn





Subscribe to my child custody updates

* indicates required
©2008, 2013 Stuart Showalter, LLC. Permission is granted to all non-commercial entities to reproduce this article in it's entirety with credit given.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Parenting Time Exchange Protocol - Indiana Parents, Practitioners and Judges

When it comes to making arrangements for interactions between post divorce or separated parents we must use directed consciousness towards a child centric view of parenting. Opportunities for the children to experience interactions between their parents may be frequent and fluid or limited to a rigid, court ordered schedule that occurs only at a neutral location, possibly a police department.

For years we have heard that when parents aren't willing to forgo the harm to children caused by divorce that they should ameliorate the damage by removing conflict from the children's presence. I contend however that simply obscuring conflict from the view of the children is insufficient. Children possess great acuity about their parents feelings and will often withhold comment or suppress their own feelings so as to protect the feelings of the parents. Parenting time exchanges should be an opportunity for parents to express some civility towards each other. It must be genuine though. Children are attuned to the subtle cues such as an exhaustive sigh that a parent releases upon reentering the vehicle – so as to say I am glad that is over with.

The parenting time exchange location can send numerous messages to a child, sometimes conflicting. When practical parents should agree on an exchange routine that balances transportation responsibilities. I suggest that the parent to whom the child will be with provide the transportation. In effect the child is always picked-up, never dropped off. This travel time will also give the child an adjustment opportunity while heading to your home, so make the most of it. When both parents are capable of providing transportation then practitioners should recommend that the parent exercising parenting time do the pick up. Judicial officers should order the pick up only rule when circumstances avail themselves.

By using the pick up only rule children are never faced with the psychological impact of being dropped off which may instill a sense of a parent being done with them or remind the child of abandonment that may have occurred. Using only pick-up for parenting time exchanges conveys to the child that he or she is always wanted by someone. This is especially true for younger children but can also be important for the adolescent who has had difficulty adjusting to the new family dynamics.

Finally, a common practice that may very well have the most traumatic impact upon your child should be reviewed. I cannot stress enough the importance of examining a common departure ritual from the child's perspective. This applies to parenting time exchanges in particular but all such times as when a child or relative depart from the other. It is not uncommon to tell a child “Go give your grandmother a hug and kiss before she leaves” or some similar demand to exhibit affections either by the departing person or the parent remaining with the child. Parents who try to display a sense of cooperation and harmony around the children may also engage in this behaviour – “give you mom a kiss goodbye before we leave”. I want to be absolutely clear on this point. You may be encouraging and facilitating sexual abuse of your child.

Perpetrators of sexual abuse of children exploit opportunities like this. These departing rituals take control of a child's affections away from himself. Children should always be taught that they own their affections. They should never be forced to display affections or “show love”. Abusers groom children in a manner that skews what the normal adult population knows “love” to be. An abuser who tells a child to “show me that you love me” has a far different intent and may have groomed the child in a manner far different from what we expect when telling a child to “show grandma that you love her”. Do not force your child to show affections during parenting time exchanges or at any other time. Your children should be empowered and know that they always control their affections and are not obligated to comply to the demands for affection by any other person.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Make a suggestion for me to write about.


Parents who would like to achieve the best outcome for their children in a contested child custody case should visit my website and contact my scheduler to make an appointment to meet with me. Attorneys may request a free consultation to learn how I can maximize their advocacy for their clients.

Connect with me for the latest Indiana child custody related policy considerations, findings, court rulings and discussions.

View Stuart Showalter's profile on LinkedIn



Subscribe to my child custody updates

* indicates required
©2008, 2013 Stuart Showalter, LLC. Permission is granted to all non-commercial entities to reproduce this article in it's entirety with credit given.

StuartShowalter.com

Monday, May 13, 2013

The Objective Morality Applied to Contested Child Custody Cases: A Strategy for Obtaining Parenting Time and your Child's Well-Being

This article is related to a recent one I posted about applying subjectivity to morality. Here I intend to offer a rational foundation for the contention that the application of objective morality to child custody cases can be detrimental.

From the time we were infants to young children we exhibited what Freud referred to as the Id. From hunger we cried, for affection we cried, for comfort from soiled diapers we cried. [An attuned attachment figure will recognize and appropriately respond to each of the three different cries] As we matured we grabbed whatever toy we wanted from the hands of a playmate. We were determined to have what we wanted when we wanted it. We lacked consideration for the inconvenience we may cause or the feelings of others.

Gradually discipline was introduced. Our desires were tempered through a system of rewards and punishments based upon mandates from our parents or other authority figures. It is a logical inevitability that the capacity for small children to accept instructions and warnings without subjecting them to their own as yet feeble logical powers does not develop without discipline. We present the abstract concepts of sharing, patience and virtue to the young “me want now, it's mine” brain. Thus begins the progression to morality.

Gradually most children are introduced to morality through the concepts of deism, theism and the organized cults. Much of this comprises societal standards and ultimately law. This is the object moral: You ought behave in this manner because it has been establish as right.

But the abstract as it relates to morals should return during the times of adolescence through maturation. Since man is wholly responsible for himself, as Sartre says, then he should individually be his own moral compass. The proper modality for moralistic determination is the pursuit of pleasure and the minimization of pain. Sartre is joined by other philosophers such as Bentham and Mill in this assertion.

Theist will argue that the subjective morality is not morality at all as there is no concrete moral code and if every man pursues his pleasures individually then morals don't exist. This proposition ignores consequence though. Epicurus espoused pursuit of pleasure noting that there is no such thing as divine punishment as we can observe. Instead Epicurus posits that virtue leads to the absence of pain and fear.

This proposition can be realized through proof of the immorality of eating meat. Montaigne argued that man was no more superior to other animals just as one culture was not over another. In essence Montaigne could be said to argue that if you believe the Nazi regime acted immorally by adopting a belief that the Anglo-Aryan race was superior to other races then the human race adopting a belief of dominion over the animal kingdom, which has a basis in biblical law, was equally immoral.

All invertebrates can feel pain and have feelings. Thus we are unable to differentiate ourselves from the animals who suffer through factory farming and gruesome slaughter techniques. Hypocrites will rationalize their immorality through arguing that man has self-awareness and an intellectual superiority unique to mankind. But if intelligence and self-awareness is the appropriate standard then one should be able to slaughter the mentally retarded and the comatose, whose intellect is subordinate to some primates or have no self-awareness, while maintaining a morally clean slate. Such contradiction cannot be reconciled though.

There is also an argument to be made that man is less intelligent than his surrounding fauna. One can observed flight patterns of birds or the movements of a school of fish who all move in a wave of congruence. Yet one doesn't need idly observe traffic in a busy intersection long to see a collision. Likewise few animals waste food while humans can readily be seen discarding food while most cannot feed themselves. While colonies of ants or bees work harmoniously together ensuring the survival of their respective groups humans steal from and murder each other. So who is more intelligent?

Now that it has been established that man is not superior to other invertebrates by any current measurable moral standard then let's apply the standard established by Epicurus: that virtue leads to the absence of pain and fear.

If actions are conscripted by moral stipulations and one seeks to maintain morality in an effort to conform to this code to reap its purported benefits and avoid the consequences of transgressions then pain and fear are the result. The acceptance of being an imperfect being leads to the anxiety of a potential transgression and the resulting discomfort from the elevated immunological response. Mill also proposed that right is pleasurable and wrong is painful.

Epicurus espoused pursuit of pleasure without divine punishment. Death was not to be feared as there is no afterlife. Many bodily pleasures have painful consequences and thus become self-correcting by the process known as the Law of Effect. Wisdom he argued was the greatest virtue. Thus wisdom – virtue supreme -- leads to the absence of pain and fear. There is solid reasoning in this proposition. Wisdom is not just knowledge but cognition of knowledge applied and resulting circumstances. Hence book-smart youngsters can still seem to achieve lofty feats of stupidity. They lack the experiences which produce wisdom.

Likewise, Wollstonecraft says that the good of society proceeds from the increase of reason, knowledge and virtue. This is in direct contradiction to the organized cults. These oppressive regimes restrict members access to knowledge, restrict reason with a preference towards “faith” – belief without reason – and shun “non-believers”.

An interesting concept was propounded by Kant who held that there was a universal moral law: your actions should be based upon what you can will everyone else to do. You can will some people to steal but not everyone. Thus, stealing becomes immoral.

Sartre said that because there is no god that man shall individually determine what is best for him. There is no moral guide. Man is wholly responsible for himself. As there is no guarantee that things will turn out for the best, man has the burden of knowing that his life is in his hands. This concept of personal accountability produces an organic moralistic character.

In my experiences I have seen support for the postulate of Seneca who, similar to Epicurus, insisted that the only good is virtue. Happiness is achieved by acting in accord with our internal guide and by being content with one's lot in life. Altruism and simple living are essential to correct living. Empiricus said that there can be no absolutes of good or bad if one is to achieve tranquility. He who has good will fear losing it, he who has bad will feel defeated, he who has neither will be tranquil. Those who have achieved tranquility and live the simple lives are often seen as consistent with most objective standards of morality but, more importantly, are intrinsically moral.

So how is this applicable to child custody litigation? The objective view says that parental fitness can be measured by adherence to an established moral code: particularly an ordained code of conduct presented as a societal standard. There may be various protocols for the objective such as cultists' codes, statutory law or guidelines adopted by Child Protective Services. The subject viewpoint contends that parental fitness is measured by the discipline of the child who adheres to his own moral code. That is when the parent has provided guidance to the child to help him elicit from self-awareness what is moral. Teasing a sibling and getting hit - pain inflicted from the hit was a result of the teasing and the child can then be prompted to deduce that teasing is improper because it can cause pain not that it is improper in the statutory sense.

If the child's self-regulated behaviour is not intrusive upon the rights or boundaries of others, but is not instilled by the fear of an unseen omniscient force who will exact some future revenge for transgressions, then it is a positive discipline. That is, the child is respectful of others through free-will: virtue. Thus, as Epicurus and Mill proposed, virtue leads to a lack of pain. This produces tranquility, a valued asset for a child who is experiencing the conflict of a child custody battle.

It is during this transition that children are at risk from a plethora of ills. A properly based moral guide – one based upon pleasure not fear – demonstrates the resolve of a parent to act in the child's best interest. The revelation to the court of this commitment to the child's well-being demonstrates parental fitness while adherence to a top-down moral protocol of an organized cult demonstrates neglect of a child's individual needs.

Courts are well aware of the potential for and effects of neglect of children during the challenging times of separation or divorce. During this time children often experience a form of neglect being “lack of supervision”. The unsupervised children are the ones most likely to engage in sexual relations, drug abuse and violent acts at greater rates than their counterparts who have caring parents. The other common form of neglect is “emotional disengagement”. While the parent may be physically present and supervising the child's activities the parent may herself be so emotionally drained that she is unable to engage the child. Depression, anxiety and mood disorders contribute significantly to emotional disengagement. A parent experiencing these issues may appear joyful or sorrowful regardless of circumstances which can confuse the child relying on appropriate emotional feedback to help guide his actions in a moralistic manner.

Thus, while a parent may profess fitness by an adherence to an objective standard imposed upon self and the child this is not congruent with morality. A child's upbringing based upon the individual nurturing and guidance of a self-regulated moral character, however imperfect at the time, will, over time, result in a more robust zeal for maintaining morality and consequently improved well-being.

When properly advocated for to a judicial officer capable of understanding this concept and the needs of the child a child custody and parenting time order consistent with the true best interest of the child should be achievable.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Make a suggestion for me to write about.


Parents who would like to achieve the best outcome for their children in a contested child custody case should visit my website and contact my scheduler to make an appointment to meet with me. Attorneys may request a free consultation to learn how I can maximize their advocacy for their clients.

Connect with me for the latest Indiana child custody related policy considerations, findings, court rulings and discussions.

View Stuart Showalter's profile on LinkedIn



Subscribe to my child custody updates

* indicates required
©2008, 2013 Stuart Showalter, LLC. Permission is granted to all non-commercial entities to reproduce this article in it's entirety with credit given.

StuartShowalter.com