Public school teacher says men don't belong in children's lives

The Indianapolis Star on Sunday 23 August 2009 featured an editorial letter that I had written.

The Star allows for readers to make comments below articles and it didn't take long for the male-bashers to post theirs. While most are easily dismissed for lack of a valid or logic based argument. Others are simply not relevant to the topic and don't belong in the discussion. Yet, one stood out and brought about the ire of some others.

Here is the comments made by seniorteacher

"I am all or Dad's involvement in children's lives, but for God's sake let's stop this process of shared custody where the children are shuffled from family to family every two days or so. These children have no place to call home, and don't give me the crap about them having two homes. They don't want two homes; they want one. I'm a teacher and I see the result of this selfish practice, and I am also the result of it. It's a terrible childhood, and believe it or not parents it isn't about what you want. It is about what the child needs. So all you greedy dads back off. Children need one home, be it one parent or two. They can visit you on the weekend and summer vacations, and you can be there when they need you. But please do not demand shared custody. You'll save your child a world of insecurity, confusion, and hurt."
8/23/2009 10:42:20 PM

This teacher starts out with "I am all [f]or Dad's involvement in children's lives." but then regresses to "So all you greedy dads back off. Children need one home, be it one parent or two. They can visit you on the weekend and summer vacations, and you can be there when they need you." Seniorteacher has been a teacher for 23 years mostly at public high schools. It is deplorable that we have a teacher of maturing boys who has the attitude that fathers should be occasional visitors in their children's lives. She has clearly expressed that she does not feel that children need their fathers more than 4 days a month. This is damaging to children and is unacceptable.

I had a teacher in sixth grade who had gone through a difficult divorce and child custody battle. We boys were made to feel second class and degraded so much that some of us eventually picketed the classroom demanding equality. I am unable to recall any specific instances of what my teacher said but I do know we boys paraphrased it to each other as 'she says girls are better than boys'. I doubt that 'seniorteacher' refrains from expressing this attitude either overtly or inconspicuously while in the classroom. Trying to break down masculinity and demeaning an entire gender and teaching them that they are not important is not acceptable.

Feminist Karla Mantilla summarized the philosophy behind this male bashing in an article entitled "Kids Need 'Fathers' Like Fish Need Bicycles." She wrote, "I submit that men tend to emphasize values such as discipline, power, control, stoicism and independence. Sure, there can be some good from these things, but they are mostly damaging to kids (and other living things). They certainly made my son suffer an isolated and tortured existence until he began to see that there was a way out of the trap of masculinity."[1]

"As boys pass from childhood to manhood, they develop their moral and ethical code."[2] It is at this time it is most important that a teacher not be instilling into them that they are not as valued as women and don't need to be a significant part of their future or current children's lives.

Roger Scruton, author of "Modern Manhood," explains what is going on with feminist ideology in classrooms, "Feminists have sniffed out male pride wherever it has grown and ruthlessly uprooted it. Under their pressure, modern culture has downgraded or rejected such masculine virtues as courage, tenacity and military prowess in favor of more gentle, more 'socially inclusive' habits."[3]

I recommend that you read "The Lost Boys" by Cathy Young . She makes some very valid points about the hypocrisy of the radical feminist and the double standards applied to young boys including in the educational setting.

I call upon every school system in the State of Indiana to either create a formal policy advocating the importance of both parents or require that their teachers receive instruction on gender stereotypes and avoiding degrading an entire gender of parents such as 'seniorteacher' has done. This would not be tolerated if it was a statement about race; gender should be no different.

[1] Karla Mantilla, "Kids Need 'Fathers' Like Fish Need Bicycles," Off Our Backs, June 1998, pp. 12-13.
[2] Boys to Men: Entertainment Media Messages About Masculinity - 1999
[3] Roger Scruton, "Modern Manhood," New York City Journal, 19 January 2000.


Stuart Showalter


Indiana Custodial Rights Advocates

©2009 Stuart Showalter, LLC. Permission is granted to all non-commercial entities to reproduce this article in it's entirety with credit given.