Saturday, July 4, 2009

The Sperned Woman Who Cried Domestic Violence

Can you recall hearing the Aesop's story of The Boy Who Cried Wolf? The moral of that story is to not cry out in fear when there is no danger for when there actually is we won't come to your rescue having been conditioned by your false alarms. Just as movies get redone to appeal to a contemporary audience and setting so should Aesop's fable about “crying wolf”.

I propose that we need an update to the long standing moralistic tale by Aesop. This one could be The Spurned Woman Who Cried Domestic Violence. The radical feminist crowd, who wants fatherhood to be the equivalent of an ATM, seeks to portray domestic violence [DV] as a gender specific issue where women are always the victims of brutal attacks by men. Reality tells us that is far from the truth but society has been so inundated with this agenda that women actually see making false allegations of DV as doing nothing wrong. Although it clearly goes against the radical feminist agenda and their propaganda, the truth is men are the victims in ¼ of intimate partner homicides[1].

Let's first look at how this agenda has manifested itself in the relationship of two parents who went their separate ways earlier this year. The parties appeared on the Judge Judy show broadcast 30 April 2009. There the father had sued the mother for damages to his apartment caused by her during a 3:00am invasion when she kicked in his door, catching him in bed with another woman.

During the week following that encounter she filed for a protective order and two days later took their child to see the father. Judge Judy berated this young woman for obtaining a protective order against her ex-fiance' as retaliation for him breaking off the engagement for another woman. Although Judge Judy confirmed that the mother had made a false allegation of physical abuse the mother continued the charade proclaiming that Judge Judy is “crazy”. She protested Judge Judy's finding for the father saying, “I don't know what I did wrong” “I did everything right”.

The hearing can be seen here. You'll need to scroll down a bit on the page to “Judge Judy confronts a 'battered woman'”

This so-called victim who claims to have done nothing wrong in her false DV allegation vendetta is backed-up by the establishment. Lydia Watts, executive director of the Victim Rights Law Center, says there is no epidemic of women fabricating tales of domestic violence– “I have heard thousands of victims’ stories and barely ever doubted one.” It is that blind allegiance to the radical feminist agenda that is so dangerous for children. These man-haters would rather see a child placed with a violent, abusive or neglectful woman than any man.

Civil libertarians should be alarmed by domestic violence laws. A criminal act - domestic violence - is relabeled a civil offense, thereby stripping the defendant of all the protections available to criminal defendants. The “defendant” is summarily “convicted” and then pays a fearsome price: instant eviction, loss of access to and control of his assets, and enforced separation from his children. Imagine applying this concept to driving offenses. Take reckless driving for example. Currently this criminal offense is triable by jury. Imagine taking the route of DV proceedings for use in traffic violations. A cop goes to a judge and says he witnessed you driving recklessly nine years ago. The judge issues an immediate order suspending your license and impounding your car.

Fortunately, Judge Judy recognized what nearly every family law judge in the United States has been unwilling to admit: that not all allegations made in Petitions for an Order of Protection are true. Judge Judy recognizes that these false allegations are used as a method of retaliation or for leverage in gaining child custody. She also notes the damage that false allegations do to those who truly do suffer actual abuse.

A critical examination of false DV allegations and perpetrators needs to be made. One feminist, Wendy McElroy, has called upon women to stop making false allegations of rape or DV so that the gains made by women in those areas are not taken away. Yet, the false allegations continue at an alarming rate. McElroy cites a study conducted by Eugene Kanin of Purdue University, that indicates the true rate of false rape reporting may rise to the 40 percent level. Based upon DNA evidence The Innocence Project has gained the release of many men who have been falsely convicted of rape or murder. False allegations are a reality.

Another reality is that women commit more acts of DV than men do. The CDC reports that in non reciprocal DV situations women are the abuser in 70% of the cases.[2] A University of Florida study recently found women are more likely than men to "stalk, attack and abuse" their partners.[3]

The CDC reports that there are four types of Intimate Partner Violence [IPV]
which are:
• Physical abuse - when a person hurts or tries to hurt a partner by hitting, kicking, burning, or other physical force.
• Sexual abuse - forcing a partner to take part in a sex act when the partner does not consent.
• Threats of physical or sexual abuse - the use of words, gestures, weapons, or other means to communicate the intent to cause harm.
• Emotional abuse - threatening a partner or his or her possessions or loved ones, or harming a partner’s sense of self-worth. Examples are stalking, name calling, intimidation, or not letting a partner see friends and family.

For years I covered my face or head as my wife beat on me. I tried to be quick enough to dodge what was thrown at me. I explained the marks as being “from construction jobs”. I was repeatedly told that my son would be killed if I didn't do what she said. She did this once while pointing a gun at him. The police told me there was nothing I could do. That I would have to get a protective order from the courts but they won't do it because I am a man.

The cops were correct. After I was divorced I was stalked by a female acquaintance. I was inundated by e-mails where she claimed to be my wife or said she was going to make me impregnate her. I day I clearly told her that she was not going to be my wife or the mother of a child with me. That night she went into the St Vincent's Stress Center. Upon her release she filed a Petition for an Order of Protection against me.

During the next two and a half years before we went to court she broke into my house twice, my neighbor chased her off, the police told her to leave me alone, she moved into the house on the other side of the one next to me, followed me nearly daily and came into a friends house and stole money from my wallet. Yet, Judge Detamore, who has long been known as being corrupt, would not issue a restraining order to keep her away from me.

However, at our hearing before Judge Kincaid [Boone County's only legitimate judge] she admitted that the rape allegation she made against me was false. That she had followed me. That she moved to live much closer to me. In the civil suit I filed against her for harassment her attorney begged me not to take this before a jury. I just wanted to be left alone so I settled with her for reimbursement for some of my attorney fees and an apology letter for the false allegations.

There can be no doubt that false allegations do exist and that there is a policy by judges, prosecutors and police to ignore violent acts committed by women against men. I have experienced it, repeatedly. Although radical feminists use spurious official sounding studies or simply repeat unsubstantiated claims about the non-existence of false allegations by women and that DV only affects men you have now seen the cited evidence and witnessed one of these so-called DV victims in action. These clearly contradict those myths.

Domestic Violence is real, but is not a gender issue. DV needs to be addressed in a gender neutral manner. Only then can real remedies to DV be implemented. Until this happens women's cries of abuse will continue to be nothing more than the sound of a car alarm going off; something we endure, without concern, while waiting for it to shut up.


1 - Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics. Homicide trends in the
United States [online]. [cited 2006 Aug 28]. Available from URL:
2 - Daniel Whitaker, PH. D. Journal of Public Health May 2007
3 - Angela Gover, University of Florida criminologist. Study of 2,500 students between August and December of 2005 found that 58% of stalkers were female.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Make a suggestion for me to write about.

Parents who would like to achieve the best outcome for their children in a contested child custody case should visit my website and contact my scheduler to make an appointment to meet with me. Attorneys may request a free consultation to learn how I can maximize their advocacy for their clients.

Connect with me for the latest Indiana child custody related policy considerations, findings, court rulings and discussions.

View Stuart Showalter's profile on LinkedIn

Subscribe to my child custody updates

* indicates required
©2008, 2009 Stuart Showalter, LLC. Permission is granted to all non-commercial entities to reproduce this article in it's entirety with credit given.

No comments: