Saturday, July 25, 2009

False Allegation of DV and Bogus Restraining Orders Harm Men, Women and Children

Domestic Violence is a crime and quite simply it is wrong. I must take issue with those who would protest that there need be no special distinction for battery committed against someone living in the home or otherwise intimately connected.

Battery is codified by IC 35-42-2-1 which essentially calls it any offensive touching. Patrons in a bar sometimes cross eyes in a wrong manner or argue over sports teams. Combine this with a little alcohol and you may have a situation where one persons pushes, punches or otherwise 'batters' another. One can tuck tail and run, push back or simply acknowledge the disagreement and let it be water under the bridge. Usually there are others who will step in to assure that it does not escalate to an unmanageable point.

Domestic battery is different. This is a position where I lose support from some of those in the Father's Rights movement but one which I am still left committed to. Domestic battery is a violation not only of the body but of the bonds of trust that hold two people together or more if they have children. Intimate partnerships are built upon trust. Your deepest secrets, your fears, your desires and all the other feelings that you hold close and personal are shared with that person. The children trust that their parents will love, honour and respect each other.

It is the violation of this trust that I feel elevates the offense level in domestic violence situations. We find similar statutory enhancements in crimes such as sexual misconduct with a minor if the perpetrator was a person in a position of trust, such as a school teacher. This is the same reasoning I use when I feel crimes by police should receive charging or sentencing enhancements; they violated a trust.

Ironic at first is that I was recently attacked by the feminazi crowd after presenting an anecdote of how restraining orders being used in child custody situations can lead to death. These women are so vengeful that they ignore assisting and instead spew their hatred towards another domestic violence victim trying to provide helpful advice just because he is a man. Whenever I am attacked by the feminazi crowd I know I have hit upon something worthy and legitimate. This is a group of man-hating women that are so consumed with anger and self-loathing that they are unable to function within the realm of the civilized familial structure. It is for this reason that true feminism rejects these antagonizers.

The point of my posting on that subject was that a piece of paper will not save a person's life and, as in my situation, it may be best and safer to not inflame the situation. Instead the feminazis say I was blaming the mother for her own death. When I was going through a divorce I was forced to wear body armour, sometimes traveled with a body guard, installed a surveillance system and altered my routines. My ex-wife had on numerous occasions threatened to use her gun to kill me or our son.

I did call the police one time when she entered the home of our son and I, while armed, and proceeded to go into a violent tirade. I did not seek a protective order for that. She is one person that you do not want to antagonize. Because of her psychiatric conditions and mood stabilizers that she takes, or sometimes refused to take, the slightest change could set her off. I found it better to take a defensive position and feel it may have saved my life.

One such feminazi is Claudine Dombrowski who just doesn't get it. By her own admission she has been denied custody of her children even after presenting evidence of severe battery upon her face and body. In a world where women who make false allegations are regularly awarded custody of their children based upon that false allegation we must wonder what else someone must have done to override the photographic evidence of battery which she shows.

I submit that it is the dangerous attitude which she expresses in her writings and that which she shares among her ultra-feminazi clique. No child should be forced to endure exposure to a person expressing such hatred not only for men but what she must have for herself.

Dombrowski does not present to us a full record of how she came to sustain her injuries. What we do know is that it did not result in her getting custody of her children and that is troubling. I don't think that anyone should have to suffer the types and degree of injuries which she did but we are not informed as to the possibility that these may have been from defensive actions by someone else or that the fight was mutual.

I propose that the real harm comes from the false allegations of domestic violence and falsified petitions for protective orders, especially those which involve partners who have children. Feelings of hurt, bruises, cuts and even broken bones can heal. What is the treatment or cure for the violation of trust or breaking of bonds that occur between millions of children and their parents? Children are not blind to family dynamics and positions of authority and control. They can discern who the manipulator is and who the victim is.

You can't just take it back when a child has been denied access to one parent for years based upon a lie. You can't simply turn back on the trust that was shut off because the child can no longer believe the parent whom he is left to live with. Children know, children feel and children will react. It is the way they react to the denial of a parent, not for their protection but based upon a lie, that results in harm.

What effect do these false allegations have on the psyche of society at large? Do we begin to view accusations of domestic violence with skepticism? Do we start to view true victims as nothing more than lying, money-hungry, vindictive manipulators? That is the danger we face and the harm that these false accusers bring to the true victims. What does the prospective juror who had a brother falsely accused do? Does he speak up about it during voir dire and get excused from service or does he remain silent while thinking 'I will show these bitches and acquit this guy'?

Judge Judy Scheindlin of the popular civil litigation television show Judge Judy confronted a young woman on the program who had accused her boyfriend of domestic violence. The video of this episode can be seen here. Judge Judy told this girl that she knew her game. That she caught her boyfriend with another girl after she had left him, wanted revenge and falsely accused him of domestic violence. The girl protested that it was “the right thing to do” and that Judge Judy was crazy. Unfortunately this is a common occurrence. Not common in that a judge sees through the charade but that the false accusation is made for revenge or other motives.

What do we as a society do to hold these false accusers accountable? I feel our first step should be to personally discourage the false reporting of domestic violence. The phrase 'You go girl' should be replaced with 'You should be ashamed girl' for women who use false allegations to deny their children access to the father. The idea that women need comfort and support from others while going through divorce or separation can be misplaced if it includes condoning the common litigation strategy of making a false domestic violence accusation.

We should also seek and support legislative change to make it a criminal offense to make a false report of domestic violence in a judicial proceeding. That should be followed-up with demands on prosecutors to prosecute the crime and vote out those who refuse to protect children from this offense.

I was a victim of domestic violence for over a year before my ex-wife finally left on her own will and then after that. I have also been falsely accused by the very one who committed the abuse. I am in the position of having to balance promoting a public policy of protecting those who are falsely accused while at the same time seeking to punish those who commit the offenses. For now, it is my opinion that we must put in safeguards to protect the innocent before we continue to seek punishment for the accused. If some victims of domestic violence must continue to suffer to protect the children of those falsely accused then that is a sacrifice we must make.

Additional information about Domestic Violence perpetrators and victims may be found here.

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1 comment:

Jim Bailey - JimBWarrior - HandsOnEqualParent said...

Stuart - Thanks for this - Up on Equal Parenting @ Ration Shed BLOG - Onward - Jim