Showing posts with label lying to children about santa claus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lying to children about santa claus. Show all posts

Thursday, April 16, 2015

The 5 Hour Energy SCAM and getting to Truth that benefit parent-child relationships and custody litigation

Today it is not my intention to keep you from getting ripped off by another unscrupulous corporation selling a magical elixir. That could be an added side benefit though. Rather, it is my purpose here to induce you to question the claims you hear, especially those which seem plausible. In doing this you should enhance your parent-child relationship and improve your outcome in child custody litigation.

Some deceptions are so readily accepted because of the ostensible claims obscuring the lie. Who would believe someone standing in an agora during the lunch hour proclaiming it to be midnight? If we are so fortunate enough as a society to have a populace sufficiently informed about the solar diurnal cycle and the associated timetable then it would be no one. But what if it is something for which the general population is not knowledgable? For instance, the biological processes involved in converting calories into energy for the human body. There are some people who believe that metabolism determines BMI although it is logically impossible and such claims have been resoundingly refuted by the medical community. It is this ignorance and misconceptions that foster the subreption upon which the crooks selling “5 Hour Energy” rely and which impede the emotional development of children.

Calories in food and beverages are combined with oxygen to release the energy your body needs to function. Thus, energy is merely the conversion of calories. For the body to expend energy it needs to take in calories otherwise it will consume body tissue to satisfy those needs. The body stores excess energy in the form of fat cells. The average person applies the majority of his or her caloric intake to the basal metabolic rate. That is the energy needed for thermo-regulation, cell repair and regeneration, adjusting hormone levels, as well as respiratory and circulatory functioning. Additional calorie burn takes place in conversion loss which is the digestive process.

To maximize energy a diet should consist primarily of simple carbohydrates. Foods should be cooked or pureed to assist in the digestive process. Although exercise and movement is the most variable element of calorie consumption it is not to be avoided. In addition to digestive assistance, calorie demand can be reduced by dressing so you do not chill and shedding unnecessary weight. The bodies of people who are larger burn more calories, even at rest. We know this intuitively when we carry a backpack or bookbag loaded down and feel the additional strain upon our muscular system which has to increase its energy consumption to move the load.

If you count on 5-Hour Energy drinks to provide you with your energy needs your are going to need deep pockets. Dietary supplement manufacturers aren't required by the Food and Drug Administration to prove that their products are safe or effective. Thus, Living Essentials, LLC -- the distributor of “5-Hour Energy” -- can, as they do, lie with impunity about their “dietary supplement.” This product would be more appropriately named 5-Minute Energy. That is because it provides enough energy for an average person to maintain a waking state of rest for five minutes.

To get the calories needed to maintain a typical human body for a 24 hour period one would need to consume about 6 gallons of “5-Hour Energy”. By comparison one could get the necessary calories by consuming four servings of rice and four servings of black beans. Although neither provides sufficient essential nutrients the rice and beans combined include protein, dietary fiber and some minerals while “5-Hour energy” contains only carbohydrates, added B vitamins and about 80 times the recommended daily allowance of sodium. The cost for the rice and beans is about $1. The cost of getting the energy equivalent from “5-Hour Energy” is . . . a staggering $800 when purchased in bulk. That is over $250,000 per year.

Always view factual claims with caution and skepticism. Keep in mind that it was once a “fact” that the earth was flat. However, through the application of reason and logic such an absurdity was refuted. As the use of reason and logic continue to gain acceptance and long held ‘truths’ are discarded the charlatans who perpetuate falsehoods will be exposed as not credible. You don’t want your child to be the one who views you as not credible. Name the person who went cross-eyed from sitting too close to the television. You can’t because it never happened. There are many parents out there who lost credibility over that and similar issues. Likewise children come to learn truths about Santa Claus and other mystical tools of manipulation.

My son is secure in knowing that there is one person in this world upon whom he can depend without question or hesitation. That is the person who told him at age three years that there was no Santa Claus, that it was all a big lie, that regardless of the ubiquity of the falsehood it remained just that - a lie. Over the years one person kept repeating Truth to him and as he grew old others stopped acquiescing the lie. I was that stalwart from the first day. I am the person in whom he seeks counsel, reassurance, and security because I demonstrated integrity to him. Yet because of the ubiquity of some falsehoods and credulity of those who profess honesty even they will still perpetuate falsehoods such as the Declaration of Independence was signed on 04 July 1776.

Integral to the healthy development of a child is that he or she has a patient, dependable, and honest parent. I am not saying that a child custody decision will hinge upon which parent takes the stand and proudly proclaims “I told the children there is no Santa Claus.” Rather, it is the demonstration that a parent’s actions are child centered. The strong rebuke that drug abusing parents receive in court is not because of the drug use. Courts have often imposed orders and admonished parents that they can get all messed up if they wish, unless the children are under their care and control. This is not based upon lack of legal authority. Nor is this because of what may appear to be the self-evident need for a parent to be in control of his or her mental faculties when supervising children. The need for parents to be cognizant and sober around children is so that the children are assured that they have a dependable person available to facilitate their needs. When children fear that a parent will leave, be jailed, hospitalized, or die they suffer mental and physical ailments across the anxiety spectrum. There is a misconception that the prevalence of childhood anxiety is the result of pressure to succeed. The reality is that it is based upon the fear of abandonment. That one parent may already be gone and the other may leave or be taken away. Additionally, there is the fear of not fulfilling a parents’ concept of success and that the parent will emotionally abandon a child with less-than-acceptable performance levels. If you have ever seen a child athlete vomit preceding a competition then you have been exposed to this performance anxiety which is most often founded upon the expectations of a parent.

Examine your actions from a child centered perspective. Does using “5 Hour Energy” demonstrate integrity? Absolutely not. Rather it demonstrates credulity and more precisely a lack of intelligence because the energy level of about five minutes is clearly indicated on the label. How can a child be assured that a parent who can’t do something as simple as read the calorie content of a “food” label will provide housing, food, proper guidance, and stability? If your actions are consistent with integrity and fostering trust your parent-child relationship, along with the emotional health of your children, will benefit.

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Parents who would like to achieve the best outcome for their children in a contested child custody case should visit my website and contact my scheduler to make an appointment to meet with me. Attorneys may request a free consultation to learn how I can maximize their advocacy for their clients.

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©2008, 2015 Stuart Showalter, LLC. Permission is granted to all non-commercial entities to reproduce this article in it's entirety with credit given.

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Thursday, December 19, 2013

Teaching your Children about Santa Claus, or; Why it's best to Beat your Child with a Stick

The time is again upon us when we can trust in the commercialization of Christmas to bring us the omnipresent Santa Claus. The St Nicolaus of lore. The puffy man clad in red and white garb whisk about the skies by eight reindeer and their reddened beacon mate as a guide. The fanciful stories of superhuman capabilities. The arbiter of whom gifts are to be bestowed upon for their exemplary behaviour, or at least that which exceeds the minimum threshold for being strangled.


But how effective is the use of an alleged omniscient overseer of the mechanism of bribery in maintaining discipline in children, or adults for that matter? And, what does it teach?

The root of discipline, proper behaviour as it may be called, is providing children with opportunity and responsibility through modeled actions. Children are too often robbed of these elements by hurried parents who are not willing to invest time in modeling or explaining the purpose of acceptable interactions. Instead children are told what to do, when to do it and how to feel about. “I told you to do that now and you'll be happy about it.” But that robs children of a voice, a sense of belonging, and respect.

The threat of reward or punishment as a means of attaining desired behaviours is not an effective tool. Instead punishment produces quick obedience followed by vengeance, resentment and rebellion. A child adapts by avoiding detection, harboring anger, and acquiescing out of fear. Rewards function in a similar manner. Rather than readily comply, the child may hold-out for the benefit offered by a pliant parent. The child quickly learns the power play of rewards and punishment instead of the social responsibility of rightious behaviour. The child learns to win favours and instead of discipline the parent-child relationship becomes that of winner and loser. When a parent wants to be a winner that makes the child the “loser.” This can only exacerbate the problem.

When engaged in the discipline power struggle, adults often feel threatened, hurt or inadequate. These feelings are expressed in frustration or anger as those at least, ironically, provide a sense of control. The resultant can be vilification and humiliation. This demeaning of the child is disrespectful and breaks the essential element of positive discipline – mutual respect.

Effective discipline is not the result of having to catch the child being “good” or “bad” (concepts which I feel are only abstract and not rooted in actuality) but of helping the child understand the goal of respectful social interaction. To be effective the child needs to see actual results rather than attempt to memorize a set of arbitrary guidelines. These natural consequences reinforce the root of the desired behaviour as well as the respect for the sage advice of the adult. Rational limits should be placed on teaching through cause and effect, or consequence, but advising and letting a child chose can have a more lasting impact.

It's advisable to not chase each other and run around in certain situations. The child who decides to do so and ends up crying over a scraped knee is offered a wet cloth. That child learns to take ownership of his actions. He decided, against your pearls of wisdom, to undertake the action for which he now likely regrets and must tend to on his own. Over time these events will reinforce in him a respect for your cautionary admonitions.

If you still remain tethered to the idea that punishment, especially physical, teaches children fit and proper behaviour then try applying that in real life. You find that when your back is turned that your child is darting between cars in a parking lot in contradiction of your command. That provides a great opportunity to administer your typical assault on the child's rear end and then freely turn your back to the child when in parking lots now that he has “learned” not to dart between cars. Likely you will catch yourself trying to monitor your child to ensure his safety although you already “taught” him not to engage in the unsafe behaviour.

So this brings us back to Santa Claus. That threat of reward or punishment has no intrinsic value as it is not based upon a natural consequence and does not demonstrate respect for the child. The insidious nature of this confabulation of the reward/punishment medium is revealed in its resultant effect.

Eventually children learn of the great deception of Santa Claus. The older they are when enlightened the more severe the effect. As spouses who have been cheated on know, the dismantling of trust through a great deception becomes a bond that is difficult to rebuild. Moreover the child learns that lying is an accepted measure when seeking a desired result – the ends justify the means. Finally, there is the humiliation.

As George W Bush once famously said, "There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again." That doesn't help one bit but the idea is that it is shameful to be repeatedly fooled. Just like the spouse who was cheated on through an elaborate ruse that “everyone else knew about”, the child who is gulled by parents, relatives, neighbors, media, business interest, and likewise fooled cohorts is shamed when confronted by the reality. The very people that the child trusted, adored, relied upon were all laughing behind his back at “his stupidity” or so he feels. While an adult he may look back and profess to be unharmed thereby rationalizing his demeaning his own child with the same fairy tale ruse but the harms, however repressed, will always linger.

It is time to slough those teachings about Santa Claus and anything else that portends some omnipresent force tabulating behaviours for which rewards are withheld or punishments are meted. Instead, you should demonstrate respect for your children by acknowledging their ability to learn, develop, appreciate and eventually respect you as a loving, nurturing, guiding parent that you aspire to be. Don't let an “innocent” fairy tale destroy a healthy relationship before it has time to blossom.

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Make a suggestion for me to write about.


Parents who would like to achieve the best outcome for their children in a contested child custody case should visit my website and contact my scheduler to make an appointment to meet with me. Attorneys may request a free consultation to learn how I can maximize their advocacy for their clients.

Connect with me for the latest Indiana child custody related policy considerations, findings, court rulings and discussions.

View Stuart Showalter's profile on LinkedIn



Subscribe to my child custody updates

* indicates required
©2008, 2013 Stuart Showalter, LLC. Permission is granted to all non-commercial entities to reproduce this article in it's entirety with credit given.

StuartShowalter.com