The Morality of Wrong

Malapropisms and common misuse of words is something which will never wane from list of annoyances that the proletariat and now, more often, the institutionally educated inflict upon the learned members of society.

Language is a beautiful mode of communication that can evoke all the feelings which are present in our emotional spectrum. Words can bring images to the blind. They can also give the precise direction that may be necessary for the safety and well-being of the listener. But this can't be accomplished if the words are abused.

I have some upcoming post that I am developing which involve morality and measures of right and wrong generally. Particularly can there be such a thing as right and wrong. So, in preparation I present this anecdote about wrong.

So many ignorant, uniformed and judgmental people attributed my medical condition to my maintenance of a healthy weight, or at least my ongoing attempt to get there. Having given their amateurish opinions due consideration I then studied the symptoms myself and researched the possible causes. My determination was that I have a condition known as Raynaud's Phenomena.

As my mother recently observed my bluish cold hands she said something was wrong with me. I was horrendously offended by such a statement. It is a rare medical condition for which I am taking proactive steps towards managing. In reflecting upon my past I am given cause to believe that I have had it nearly all my life. I never liked air-conditioning and refuse to have it in my home. When I went to Phoenix nearly two years ago and stepped out of the car into the heat of the mid-day July sunshine I was immediately overcome by a sense of rapture. I was home, I was comfortable, I felt invigorated -- I was happy! Each day I went out and walked around mid-day or swam in the pool. But did this make me deserving of moral deprecation.

She had said there was something wrong with me. I was discussing this with a married couple last night and the wife says well wrong does mean incorrect. The husband jumps in and says now you are being his mother. The banter continued for awhile about her insistence on how she has used the word and his admonition about correct usage of words. He understood -- words have individual meaning. The English language, as discombobulated as it is, does not have five words all meaning the same for every concept. Such is the case with wrong.

Wrong does mean incorrect but we can't leave it at that. False also means incorrect. The distinctions falls to mood. Incorrect is factually inaccurate. False is incorrect but it possesses a mood also -- being deceptive. It is not as strong as lie though -- with the intention to deceive. Wrong is the opposite of right. Right is founded in righteousness -- having its basis in conformity with morality. Thus wrong means to be incorrect with the tone of being morally depraved. Incorrect, wrong and false can labeled as synonymous.

Synonym does not presuppose having the same meaning. Rather thesauruses, the lexicon of synonyms, are intended to assist the user in identifying words that have the same underlying meaning but may have a different mood or application. I may lift a chair while you vacuum the carpet but I would elevate the beam used as the header over the french doors. Both may be found under the thesaurus entry for raise though.

Back in the joint there was an intense discussion amongst my circle of friends. I noted to one of the inmates that he was just ignorant. He jumped to his feet, postured and then another inmate grabbed him and said "You just told him that you never learned about that. Ignorant means not having the knowledge." The agitated inmate said, "No, it means stupid." It was his improper understanding of the word that led to his outburst.

Language is an art no different than music, paintings or sculpture. Our daily conversation does not need possess the literary refinements of prose or the great orations delivered by historical political figures but it need not be inaccurate for want of simple effort to learn. So next time you say someone has done something wrong you may want to consider whether you actually intend to attack his or her moral standing.

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Is Snow White?

As we close in on the end of another winter season, one without much snow, it is that very powdery precipitant that I wish to use as a catalyst for deeper thought. Today I am going to take you on a journey into your subconscious thoughts and help you understand how your mind is shaped by your environment and controlled to your detriment. I intend to demonstrate that you likely engage in passive acceptance of the language and limitations of thought that surround you. This is something that while a seemingly ineffectual study can have a marked impact on your parenting and child custody case.

It is the toughest cases for which I am usually consulted -- the high conflict divorces. I face ineffectual attorneys or parents who are so engrained into a thought pattern about their behaviours that change for them "is impossible." Yet, for me there is no can't but only an absence of properly directing the will. So it is with this background that I ask you -- Is snow white?

My first guinea pig is always my son. This past Saturday after he had concluded his description of winning four out of four debate rounds that day I posed the question to him. He is an extraordinary person who, raised under my tutelage, has learned to critically examine the world in which he lives. The skills for debate were acquired at an early age. Doubt, it seems, coupled with a desire for exploration and knowledge of the world are the great motivators for seeking answers and, ultimately, Truth. Few people seek Truth though as it can have dire consequences and comes with a great responsibility that few are willing to accept.

Now when I ask you as I did my son -- is snow white -- your impulsive response is probably yes as if there could be any cause for which the answer is not. Then comes reflection on why I should ask such a mundane question with an obvious answer. Snow is white, Disney gave us a character named Snow White and it's always been referred to as white. No doubt I must be onto some absurdity for which I intend to posit some completely irrational idea. However, in this text I refer to snow in it's most natural state like that of the virginal layer covering the tips of the Antarctic peaks. No trickery here and no irrational thoughts.

So after Therin gives me the expected affirmation that snow is indeed white I posed the question about the lakes across the roadways in the desert -- why is it that the lakes covering the desert roadway disappear as we approach. This phenomena -- a mirage -- is an optical illusion caused by the diffraction of light beams bent by the expansion of air close to the roadway surface. Thus it only appears that there are ripples of water settled over the roadway or desert floor ahead. Are you starting to get the picture?

Indulge me for a moment as I present a demonstration of cultural influence on our belief structure. Cinema has brought the world to our neighborhood and contemporaneously directly into our homes with some providing the full theatrical effect. As a child of eight years I first witnessed the awesome spectacle of Steven Spielberg's Star Wars. I was hooked from the first time I saw it. It is actually in my stack of movies that I have selected to view this week. Rest assured that it will be in surround sound with a subtle increase in the amplification as compared to most flicks I watch. It is the sound production in Star Wars that interest me.

I have seen all the documentaries. I have learned about the sound that a high tension support cable attached to a radio tower makes when tapped with a metal bar and how that sound was transferred to the light saber battles in the epic production. As a child I was also titillated by the galactic battles involving the X-wing fighters or Millenium Falcon of the protagonists of the series narrowly escaping the explosion of the Death Star and the awesome sounds that ripped from side to side, front to back of the theater as we viewers were pulled into the scene. But how did this imprinting affect my judgment.

It was upon the deeper explorations of science, the introduction of physics and the search for the relationships between forms of matter that started to dissolve the early imprinting made upon me. Space is, on it's most fundamental level just that, space. Cosmologist posit Dark Matter and the Higgs mechanism but for this demonstration we can be well settled upon space being a void. Objects or rather matter is propelled by the force of the electrical field of other matter coming into contact with that matter. Your hand smacking the water, your breath against the flame of a candle, likewise the vibrations in the air or water that come into contact with your inner ear. Newton long ago established a set of rules which are still applicable today.

You've likely been asked if a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound. Try this one -- if there is an explosion but no medium to transmit the sound waves does it make a sound. Thus the Star Wars paradox. The explosions took place in space absent the medium of air, water or any other matter that possesses atoms which can be agitated in a manner that transmits sound. Likewise there is no force from the explosions transmitted. So the answer to the Star Wars question is then no. It is referred to as "theatrical license", the standard which allows for the suspension of reality to give effect to the feeling that the film is intended to evoke.

So now back to the snow. In examining this question it may be necessary to reduce it to its constituent parts. First, what is snow. It's frozen water that has taken on a crystallized form. So then what is water. A liquid whose atomic structure is two parts Hydrogen bound to one part Oxygen. So now on to the heart of the question -- what colour is water. It is translucent.

Is there anything added to this translucent liquid material when it becomes a solid -- frozen -- material. No. It is water that has gone through a phase transition to a solid whether it be in block form of flake form. So now that you have had your mind freed from the prior conditioning about snow and can give a critical examination to it, answer the question -- is snow white.

Finally, what does it appear to be. We all now about appearances -- they can be deceiving.

If you need assistance in a child custody matter, parenting or overcoming the preconceptions that restrain your success then please visit my website and contact my scheduler to make an appointment to meet with me.

If you would like to follow my activities more closely then send a friend request to my Political FaceBook page.

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More information about child custody rights and procedures may be found on the Indiana Custodial Rights Advocates website.

©2012 Stuart Showalter, LLC. Permission is granted to all non-commercial entities to reproduce this article in it's entirety with credit given.

Children are NOT a Gift from God!

Yesterday I again saw one of the bumper stickers that just incenses me. It read "Children are a gift from God". It likely exists with good intentions but we should be well aware already of the vast chasm that separates intention from effect. What may seem innocuous on the surface has a dangerous undertone revealed once the phrase is disabused.

My ire was raised not so much by the false premise espoused that bearing a child is not simply the biological fulfillment of the purpose of life but rather the implication about the significance of having a child. I do not believe that a child is a gift. I also think it is improper to offer an animal as a gift.

I don't embrace the phrase "giving up a child for adoption". More accurately the responsibility of the child is being transferred -- she will be transferring her child rearing obligation through adoption. Adoption involves a great many laws, some of which I have helped write, which protect the interest of the child and also recognize the substantial obligation that one undertakes when adopting a child. There are numerous safeguards in place that attempt to ensure that a competent and committed person undertakes the responsibility of child rearing.

A gift is something gratuitous, for nothing. There is no obligation on the receiving party. In law it is the transfer of property without expectation of compensation or remuneration.

As applied in a religious context gift has been interpreted as a God or deity bestowing knowledge, such as upon the Apostles. It has also been applied in the sacrificial sense as an offering to the Gods or a deity. The term may be preceded by a qualifier such as Easter or Christmas when it is an offering from person to person. Implicit in the term is that the offering is taken without obligation.

I have long admonished parents not to give animals as gifts and have reserved my greatest condemnation for those who have chastised or punished the child for failing to care for the animal. The conflict that parents create in the mind of a child does harm to the child. To say take this [gift] to play with as you will and you have no responsibility for it and then say you are a morally corrupt person because you let this animal die can dissever the bonds of trust between parent and child. It also imposes a negative self-view on the child who perceives his existence as bad not the omission of care because no care was expectation is implicit in gift.

Calling a child a gift from God and other phrases invoking a third party are used to placate the failings or shortfalls of the person espousing such a claim. This type of statement is used to absolve one's self of responsibility -- I didn't earn this, I didn't request this, it was bestowed upon me. When I fail to act properly -- abusing or neglecting the child -- I can comfort myself by saying that I didn't conceive this child and accept the implicit terms, it was a gift. That is the danger in promoting this view of children. It becomes a subconscious attitude. Consciously we can conceive of the awesome responsibility and the near endless stream of tasks that are commensurate with childbirth. This type of message, however, delivers to our subconscious the message that we are not to be faulted, held accountable if we fail in child-rearing.

Gift comes without obligation, duty or responsibility. Having a child though does not come without obligation, duty or responsibility. The term blessing may be more aptly applied in this sense as it can be defined as a beneficent gift from God or nature.

I have received numerous gifts throughout my life. Sometimes I played with it for a day, then discarded it. Sometimes it was treasured and cared for with reverence. Other times it was "regifted". In some cases it was so out of character for me that I simply tossed it in the trash. As for children though, they are NOT A GIFT.

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Parents who would like to achieve the best outcome for their children in a contested child custody case should visit my website and contact my scheduler to make an appointment to meet with me. Attorneys may request a free consultation to learn how I can maximize their advocacy for their clients.

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The Power of F%$K OFF!

Any familiarity with me or my writings tells you that you will receive a blunt recitation of my thoughts without consideration for societal norms, your feelings or the fluidity of so-called "right and wrong". With that cautionary note now prepare to be offended if you are a brainwashed automaton, or, enlightened and invigorated if you possess an aspiring intellect and the desire for self-determination.

If you are like most people then you have experienced that urge to tell someone just what you feel; frustrated, depraved, unappreciated, disrespected, humiliated, but in a way that only two words can adequately convey. In short to just tell that person to -- Fuck Off!. It is unlikely that you have contemplated the incredible power of such a declaration but that is the awareness of thought for today's rumination. For something that provides such personal power it should be used more. But few people are so audacious as to blithely invoke the spirit of this powerful declaration. Something has kept them from facilitating this awesome power.

In a biological sense it is your frontal lobe located in the Neocortex of your brain. This is responsible for regulating impulses. However, there must be an underlying belief system that triggers the regulatory function of the frontal lobe. For many that has been the nurturing received from parents and others that says to "bite your tongue" or "if you can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all". These may be reinforced through a slap to the face, soap in the mouth or other abuses used to coerce abandonment of free will. Then there is the long list of institutional reinforcement.

The organized cults establish their list of rules or moral code by which one is commanded to live. Their very survival depends upon the complaisance of adherents who are systematically deprived of the will for self-determination. That awesome personal power clearly conflicts with those mandates. The power to decide what best serves your needs regardless of the feelings or expectations of others is in direct conflict with cult dogma and their survival.

Schools are another way in which the members of society are indoctrinated into compliance with the expectations of self-restraint. This coercion comes in two forms generally. The easiest and most effective is the threat of sanction. Violate the codes in schools and parents get called, grades are affected or privileges are withdrawn. Then there is the second, an appeal to conscience. Children are taught about "right" and "wrong" in behaviour and encouraged to empathize with those who would be on the receiving end of their behaviours: do unto others as you would like for them to do unto you. These principles carry over to society in general.

A step beyond the school system is just applying the same principles on a larger scale which is through application of the criminal code. Decide to do what you wish when you wish and you could find yourself sipping on some Kool-Aid and chomping on a greasy doughnut after a nights rest on a steel slab with a covering resembling a child's tumbling mat.

Then there is the matter of an employer, supplier or customer. Express this phenomenal power to these people and you could find yourself with additional time to contemplate your aberrant ways. If anything is effective at maintain the restraint that your frontal lobe initially displays it is the threat of loss of monetary gain. For many, it is the continuous stream of income that is paramount to their survival. Maybe you should contemplate now why you do not invoke this power more.

It could be an extremely self-enlightening experience. This will provide to you an opportunity to examine whom is your slave-master. Likely, it is in your mind. Just as you have been I was also scripted to adopt certain behaviours as my own -- commensurate with the expectations of society. I now understand Margaret Thatcher's declaration that there was "no such thing as society". We are a grouping of individuals and should remain uniquely so. But, we have subjugated ourselves to the imposition of behavioural constraints by the group.

To better understand the process I look to a few of our great thinkers. The first that comes to mind is Socrates. Not for his position on brazenly making such a self-affirming declaratory statement but, rather, on his caution against the institutions that stifle thought. Socrates felt that the greatest danger to both society and the individual was the suspension of critical thought through an uncritical adherence to an orthodoxy. He opined that many common notions lead to a paradox of absurdity when reasoned thought was applied. The individual has an obligation to challenge the norms of society.

Contemporary thinker Richard Rorty has dedicated himself to rejecting the elevated status of philosophers preferring instead to ascribe philosophical thought to psychology, sociology or biology. Rorty posits that our belief systems or what we accept as true is based upon what our society let's us know. This has been apparent from the persecution of great thinkers over the years. Society is opposed to you having the power to confront accepted absurdities under which the power brokers maintain control over your thoughts and actions.

A twentieth century philosopher whom I admired was Michel Foucault. He wrote about the controls imposed upon our minds through the threat of stigma. Foucault posited that controlling the mind is a more effective means of social control than punishing the body. In his works, Madness and Civilization, and, Discipline and Punishment: the birth of the prison Foucault explains how psychology is used to control the individual. Most of his work related to sexuality, which I have always thought was treated with a puritanical absurdity in the United States. The philosophical underpinnings are applicable generally though. Foucault theorized that sexual repression is maintained by the threat of one's fundamental personality being labeled aberrant. This followed his teachings about prison. That anyone who expressed individuality was stigmatized through a psychological label. Just as you would turn to a co-worker and say "that guy is crazy" in reference to another employee telling the boss to fuck-off society has also established a more formalized labeling system to attach to anyone who also invokes such a self-determined manner.

I invoke this declaration whenever my integrity is attacked or someone tries to impose their will upon me which conflicts with my moral foundation. I fully embrace this life altering concept and have benefited greatly from it. I just received a phone call this week from a potential employer who a few months ago I had offered my services to if he felt he was in need. This week brought forth that day -- he is hiring now. But he quickly lost the opportunity to profit from my incredible skills because of his preconceived notions, or prejudices, and his inability to invoke this awesome power. He wanted me to cut my hair and get a car -- without a basis in need or logic for either. My response to him and that $2000 a week or so job was to get bent.

The reason that I can do this is because I have taken control of my life. No cult controls me. No institution controls me. [even when I was in prison I kept getting put in 'jail' in there] No employer controls me. No customer controls me. No person other than myself controls my actions and that is liberating. I also have the added benefit of not needing to cadge money from anyone. If you do not have at least two years equivalent of income in liquid savings then we certainly need to talk about your self-imposed enslavement.

So what keeps you from enjoying the rewards of this invigorating concept -- living a life where anyone who doesn't support your needs and desires can just "fuck off"? You have the power within you at this moment, use it. If you think the responsibility of this lifestyle is too much for you to handle then just tell me -- "fuck off"!

If you would like to learn how to think for yourself, have financial security and manage your life in a much more healthier and rewarding manner then please visit my website and contact my scheduler to make an appointment to meet with me.

If you would like to follow my activities more closely then send a friend request to my Political FaceBook page.

Subscribe to this blawg.

More information about child custody rights and procedures may be found on the Indiana Custodial Rights Advocates website.

©2012 Stuart Showalter, LLC. Permission is granted to all non-commercial entities to reproduce this article in it's entirety with credit given.

2012 Amendments to Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines - Holiday Parenting Time Schedule: Christmas Vacation and Holidays

2015 Indiana Child Support Guidelines
review scheduled for public comment

The 2013 Christmas Break schedule under the new IPTG may be found HERE.

After a two year process the proposed revisions to the Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines [IPTG] have now been posted on the Indiana Judiciary web-page. The Domestic Relations Committee of the Indiana Judicial Center [DRC] -- the body responsible for writing the IPTG -- will be accepting public comment on the proposed revisions until Monday, 26 March 2012 .

For the past two years I have been attending the DRC meetings and presenting proposals or providing feedback as requested. I will be analyzing each of the amended sections individually and providing commentary on the changes. Today I continue with my tenth posting - Christmas Vacation and Holidays

One of the most needed and eagerly anticipated changes was the elimination of the New Year's Day holiday and modification of the Christmas/Winter Break schedule. I have previously written about the convoluted schedule that could be created through application of the current Guidelines. I mentioned to the committee about having worked with clients in high conflict cases where a parent had actually demanded that an exchange take place during the pre-dawn hours of the day because that is where the half point landed. Language was added to limit the exchange time to what could be considered normal hours unless otherwise agreed by the parties.

Here is the proposed section -- revised in bold type -- Holiday Parenting Time Schedule: Christmas Vacation

The Christmas vacation shall be defined as beginning on the last day of school and ending the last day before school begins again. Absent agreement of the parties, the first half of the period will begin two hours after the child is released from school. The second half of the period will end at 6:00 p.m. on the day before school begins again.
Each party will receive one half (1/2) of the total days of the Christmas vacation, on an alternating basis as follows:
1.In even numbered years, the custodial parent shall have the first one half (1/2) of the Christmas vacation and non-custodial parent shall have the second one half (1/2) of the Christmas vacation.
2.In odd numbered years, the non-custodial parent shall have the first one half (1/2) of the Christmas vacation and custodial parent shall have the second one half (1/2) of the Christmas vacation.
3. In those years when Christmas does not fall in a parent’s week, that parent shall have the child(ren) from Noon to 9:00 P.M. on Christmas Day.
4. No exchanges under this portion of the rule shall occur between 9:00 p.m. and 8:00 a.m., absent agreement of the parties.
New Year’s Eve and New Year’s day shall not be considered separate holidays under the Parenting Time Guidelines.

Again there was a clean-up of the language. To simplify the odd-year, even year holiday schedule the two sets of holidays have each been introduced with the odd/even provisions. Paragraph 3 states that in the years that a parent does not have the child for his or her week that includes Christmas Day then the other parent will exercise parenting time from noon-9:00 pm on Christmas Day. That will occur every year unless I am misreading something. I am going to propose a slight change to "The parent not exercising parenting time for the half of Christmas Break that includes Christmas Day shall have the child(ren) from noon to 9:00 P.M.

Here are the even year holidays for the NCP, highlighted in bold, which would have been applicable to 2012.
"The following holidays shall be exercised by the noncustodial parent in even numbered years and the custodial parent in odd numbered years:
[1] MLK Day, if observed by child’s school, from Friday at 6:00 P.M. until Monday at 7:00 P.M.
[2] Presidents’ Day, if observed by child’s school, from Friday at 6:00 P.M. until Monday at 7:00 P.M.
[3] Memorial Day. From Friday at 6:00 P.M. until Monday at 7:00 P.M.
[4] Labor Day. From Friday at 6:00 P.M. until Monday at 7:00 P.M.
[5] Thanksgiving. From 6:00 P.M. on Wednesday until 7:00 P.M. on Sunday."

In my last post I may have left the impression that MLK and President's Day were not treated as holidays by the proposed revisions. To clarify, the Guidelines do not create these as holidays, rather, it is the child's school which determines whether these are to be treated as holidays. If it is not a school holiday then it is not treated as a holiday by the Guidelines. Language was amended for Spring Break to accommodate non-traditional weeks or a shortened school week.

Here are the even year holidays for the CP, highlighted in bold, which would have been applicable to 2012.

"The following holidays shall be exercised by the noncustodial parent in odd years and the custodial parent in even years:
[1] Spring Break. From two hours after the child is released from school on the child’s last day of school before Spring Break, and ending 7:00 p.m. on the last day before school begins again.
[2] Easter. From Friday at 6:00 P.M. until Sunday at 7:00 P.M.
[3] Fourth of July. From 6:00 P.M. on July 3rd until 10:00 A.M. on July 5th.
[4] Fall Break. From two hours after the child is released from school on the child’s last day of school before Fall Break and ending 7:00 p.m. of the last day before school begins again.
[5] Halloween. On Halloween evening from 6:00 P.M. until 9:00 P.M. or at such time as coincides with the scheduled time for trick or treating in the community where the noncustodial parent resides."

Using the proposed changes, assuming the child's school treated MLK and President's days as holidays and the non-custodial parent having the first weekend in January here is the schedule for 2012 as would be created [for my son] if the amended Guidelines were implemented. No Summer Break schedule has been anticipated.

NCP 6-8 January
NCP Martin Luther King, Jr. Day 13-16 January
NCP 20-22 January
CP 09-11 March
CP Spring Break 17-25 March
NCP 30 March - 01 April
CP Easter 06-08 April
NCP 13-15 April
CP 18-20 May
NCP Memorial Day 25-28 May
CP 01-03 June
CP Independence Day Wednesday 03-05 July Tuesday-Thursday
CP 24-26 August
NCP Labor Day 31 August - 03 September
CP 07-09 September
CP Halloween 31 October Wednesday
CP 16-18 November
NCP Thanksgiving Day 21-25 November Wednesday-Sunday
CP 14-16 December
Christmas Break 21 December - 06 January
CP 21 December 5:00 P.M. - 30 December 8:00 A.M.
NCP 30 December 8:00 A.M. - 06 January 6:00 P.M.

This schedule seems to be what the Committee anticipated. A good balance of days and no long periods of weekends without the children being with either of the parents. This is what would have applied for my son but I know there are numerous schedules that will produce different results. If you have created a schedule for your child that differs significantly from mine please send it to me.

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Parents who would like to achieve the best outcome for their children in a contested child custody case should visit my website and contact my scheduler to make an appointment to meet with me. Attorneys may request a free consultation to learn how I can maximize their advocacy for their clients.

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©2008, 2011 Stuart Showalter, LLC. Permission is granted to all non-commercial entities to reproduce this article in it's entirety with credit given.

2012 Amendments to Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines - Holiday Parenting Time Schedule: Conflicts and Special Days

After a two year process the proposed revisions to the Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines [IPTG] have now been posted on the Indiana Judiciary web-page. The Domestic Relations Committee of the Indiana Judicial Center [DRC] -- the body responsible for writing the IPTG -- will be accepting public comment on the proposed revisions until Monday, 26 March 2012 .

For the past two years I have been attending the DRC meetings and presenting proposals or providing feedback as requested. I will be analyzing each of the amended sections individually and providing commentary on the changes. Today I continue with my ninth posting - Holiday Parenting Time

Here is the proposed section -- revised in bold type -- Holiday Parenting Time Schedule: Conflicts

I have eliminated the language that is proposed to be removed and have only highlighted the substantial additions.

"The Holiday Parenting Time Schedule shall take precedence over regularly scheduled and extended parenting time. Extended parenting time takes precedence over regular parenting time unless otherwise indicated in these Guidelines. Alternating weekends shall be maintained through-out the year as follows. If a parent misses a regular weekend because it is the other parent's holiday, it will be lost. If a parent receives two consecutive weekends because of a holiday, that parent shall have the third weekend also. Regular alternating weekends shall continue throughout the year."

As I recall, this section took the longest amount of time to get written per word. The first intent was to clean up the language as it related to the convoluted way in which it was stated how the NCP parenting time would resume following a holiday and then the reciprocal section applying to the CP.

Once that was accomplished the discussion moved on to the whether regular parenting time should resume alternating on the weekend following a holiday or if the alternating schedule should be resumed on the next weekend as though the holiday had not occurred.

For years there has been different interpretations of the current guidelines as to whether the maximum consecutive weekends with either parent was two or three. I have seen parents, practitioners and judges all interpret this section in different ways. Any ambiguity will be resolved through application of the proposed changes.

The commentary describes concisely the potential for three consecutive weekends and when the regular alternating parenting time shall resume. This section produced some of the greatest discord among the Committee members and quite heated discussion. I wanted and will still be suggesting the two-on, two-off scheduling where when a holiday creates two consecutive weekends with one parent the the following two weekends the child will be with the other parent which gets back onto the regular alternating schedule.

A parent may receive three (3) consecutive weekends due to a holiday. It is anticipated that missed weekends due to holidays will balance out for each parent given the alternating schedule for the holidays provided for in these guidelines.

When the Court orders a change of physical custody, the Court should consider whether the Holiday Schedule change should start at the beginning of the calendar year, at the beginning or the end of the child’s school year, or immediately.

There were two changes made to the Holiday Schedule: Special Days section.

Here is the first portion, highlighted in bold, which relates to birthday celebrations.

[5]When the child’s birthday falls within a Special Day, Holiday, or Christmas vacation, the child’s birthday shall be celebrated with the parent having the child during that time period. When the parent’s birthday falls within a Special Day, Holiday or Christmas vacation, the Special Day, Holiday or Christmas vacation takes precedence.

The next portion, highlighted in bold, relates to school observances of two Monday holidays. These do not establish either as a new holiday but merely makes the logical correlation between the responsibility of a NCP to return the child to the CP on Sunday's before school is anticipated to resume on Monday. When school resumes on a Tuesday then it should follow that the child is returned on Monday evening instead.

[6] If the child’s school is closed in observance of Martin Luther King Day and/or President’s Day the weekend parenting time will extend to Monday at 6:00 p.m.

The next section will cover specific Holiday Parenting Time Schedule: Christmas Vacation and Holidays.

If you need assistance with a child custody matter please visit my website and contact my scheduler to make an appointment to meet with me.

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©2012 Stuart Showalter, LLC. Permission is granted to all non-commercial entities to reproduce this article in it's entirety with credit given.

2012 Amendments to Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines - Extended Parenting Time

After a two year process the proposed revisions to the Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines [IPTG] have now been posted on the Indiana Judiciary web-page. The Domestic Relations Committee of the Indiana Judicial Center [DRC] -- the body responsible for writing the IPTG -- will be accepting public comment on the proposed revisions until Monday, 26 March 2012 .

For the past two years I have been attending the DRC meetings and presenting proposals or providing feedback as requested. I will be analyzing each of the amended sections individually and providing commentary on the changes. Today I continue with my eighth posting - Extended Parenting Time

I was disappointed to see that there was essentially no change for the Parenting Time from after infancy up to five years of age. The following applies to five years of age and up.

Here is the proposed -- revised in bold type -- Extended Parenting Time

"One-half of the Summer Vacation. The summer vacation begins the day after school lets out for the summer, and ends the day before school resumes for the new school year. The time may be either consecutive or split into two (2) segments. The noncustodial parent shall give notice to the custodial parent of the selection by April 1 of each year. If such notice is not given, the custodial parent shall make the selection and notify the other parent. All notices shall be given in writing and verbally. A timely selection may not be rejected by the other parent. Notice of an employer's restrictions on the vacation time of either parent shall be delivered to the other parent as soon as that information is available. In scheduling parenting time the employer imposed restrictions on either parent's time shall be considered by the parents in arranging their time with their child.

If a child attends year-round school, the periodic breaks should be divided equally between the parents. If a child attends summer school, the parent exercising parenting time shall be responsible for the child's transportation to and attendance at school."

There is little change here. The major change in this section is the notice requirement. The Committee discussed whether to require notice of the Summer Vacation selection to be in writing or verbally.

I have always made it a practice of filing with the court "Notice of Summer Vacation Parenting Time Selection" before 01 April of the year. This resolves any potential dispute as to whether notice was timely given. I suggest that notice be given in both writing and verbally. As stated here in writing, with the court, clearly establishes that notice was given. Additionally though I wanted notice to be given verbally also. This could be the only written correspondence between parents within the year. As email or physical addresses get changed delivery to an unused address would be futile. A verbal confirmation could alert the other parent that the sending parent is using an old address. Additionally, I also want parents to talk. Even if it just the one sentence it could be a start to facilitating greater communication.

I have received numerous complaints that the minimum weekly parenting time of the NCP was not increased. I have even received a comment suggesting that the minimum time for each parent should be set at 50%. Quite simply that becomes a mandate and defeats the purpose of a 'guideline' or the minimum concept. I am not as disappointed in the lack of an increase for the child to have time with the NCP.

The underlying theme that the DRC was operating under while amending these guidelines was that they are not to be used as a standard. The Committee has sought to emphasize that parents, practitioners and judges need to tailor parenting time plans around the needs of the child and commensurate with the scheduling needs of both parents. Parents need to be partners in this endeavor not just two people who follow a predetermined schedule without regard for the unique scheduling needs or convenience of either which includes employment schedules which was specifically added to the above sections.

Here is the remaining proposed portion -- revised in bold type -- Extended Parenting Time

"During any extended summer period of more than two (2) consecutive weeks with the noncustodial parent, the custodial parent shall have the benefit of the regular parenting time schedule set forth above, which includes alternating weekends and mid-week parenting time, unless impracticable because of distance created by out of town vacations.

Similarly, during the summer period when the children are with the custodial parent for more than two (2) consecutive weeks, the non-custodial parent's regular parenting time continues, which includes alternating weekends and mid-week parenting time, unless impracticable because of distance created by out of town vacations. The selection of a parent’s summer parenting time shall not deprive the other parent of the Holiday Parenting Time Schedule below. See Section II. G."

Nothing here establishes a change in parenting time. The added language simply clarifies what is already in the rule.

The next section will be an overview of the much anticipated revisions to the section -- Holiday Parenting Time.

If you need assistance with a child custody matter please visit my website and contact my scheduler to make an appointment to meet with me.

If you would like to follow my activities more closely then send a friend request to my Political FaceBook page.

Subscribe to this blawg.

More information about child custody rights and procedures may be found on the Indiana Custodial Rights Advocates website.

©2012 Stuart Showalter, LLC. Permission is granted to all non-commercial entities to reproduce this article in it's entirety with credit given.

27 mile walk, a phantom Flagstar Bank and the WORST customer service ever

So at 1:00 a.m. on Monday 21 February 20 after years of study and a full day of exercise, contemplation and meditation I achieved tranquility. Later in the day I had planned to ride a bicycle down to the Flagstar Bank branch that I typically use which is located in Zionsville. I had checked the branch locator on their website just a few hours earlier to confirm that it was still the closest location. I confirmed that it was and plugged the address into Mapquest to get the exact distance as I had been contemplating taking a long walk this week. This trip provided such an opportunity.

So at 9:23 I headed out into a slight drizzle and a strong breeze coming out of the southwest. My journey was a simple one; East on Main to Indianapolis Avenue which becomes Perryworth once out of town until it terminates at 334 which is the road Flagstar sits on where it intersect with Ford road in Zionsville -- 13.52 miles.

I reach my physical destination at 1:04 but it is not a Flagstar Bank as their website had indicated less than one day earlier. If you've followed my Life Coaching postings then you are well aware that I don't accept excuses. It would be my fault 100% and completely if I had assumed that the bank I had last visited in October was still there in February but I did the prudent thing and checked the website less than 12 hours before opening for business today.

I was assisted by a very pleasant woman there who provided me with a phone number, 800.642.0039, for the Flagstar Banking Center located in Michigan. Fortunately I had earlier in the day achieved tranquility and easily passed this test by not getting upset. Instead I called that number at 1:10 and very matter-of-factly spoke with a quite aloof fella who apologized for the inconvenience of walking for nearly eight hours, as my round trip would be, because of their mistake. However, he was curt in his attitude that Flagstar was not going to expend any effort to provide any assistance to me in resolving the issue of my need to make a deposit into my account today. I needed to pay a bill on-line and my Flagstar account is the only one I have linked to a debit card for such activity.

His solution was very straight forward; I was to walk across the street, place my $100 US Treasury Note into an envelope and mail it to him in Michigan. I could go into a whole plethora or reasons to not mail cash to him but those are irrelevant to my need to get the cash in the account today. There were numerous options available though.

The most simple would be that he could have or had someone with the authority to do so waive the fee for me to access overdraft protection so long as I make a deposit within one week. Flagstar could have arranged with any of the numerous banks located at the banking corner there in Zionsville for me to open an account and then have the funds transferred to my Flagstar account. Another option, a little more personal attention intensive, would be to do a bank to bank transfer of funds in my name which Flagstar could have then deposited into my account.

There was going to be no effort expended on Flagstar's part though. I even suggested the absurdity of having a courier services take the money to him. Nope, his solution was simply take that cash across the street to the US Post Office.

Never in my 30+ years of doing business with banks have I had such a poor customer service encounter. It's no wonder that Flagstar closed down all their branches in Indiana [although the website indicated 30 branches within 15 miles of Zionsville] and now only does business in Michigan.

If you ever see a solicitation to open an account with Flagstar Bank head the other way. This is the last place anyone should ever do their banking with. I'll forward this posting to the CEO of Flagstar Bank and post a response, if any, ver batum in a future posting here.

Tomorrow I will get back to posting about the Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines proposed changes. I am just a bit too tired for some reason to summon the mental faculties necessary to make an effective presentation.

If you need assistance with a child custody matter please visit my website and contact my scheduler to make an appointment to meet with me.

If you would like to follow my activities more closely then send a friend request to my Political FaceBook page.

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More information about child custody rights and procedures may be found on the Indiana Custodial Rights Advocates website.

©2012 Stuart Showalter, LLC. Permission is granted to all non-commercial entities to reproduce this article in it's entirety with credit given.

Divorce and Child Custody Movie Review - Dark Water 2005

Today I review Dark Water from my collection of divorce, child custody and child support related movies.

Dark Water [2005] - Director Walter Salles brings to the screen this Kaidan [Japanese Horror] genre film by writer Koji Suzuki. The Kaidan is my favourite genre of film as this Japanese style involves the supernatural aspects of ghost or poltergeist centered around a revenge plot. The remake of Ju On, The Grudge -- starring Sarah Michelle Gellar -- a year earlier thankfully opened the doors for US audiences to this style of film. This ghost story has the added subplot interest for me of a child custody battle.

This movie opens with both parents meeting with mediators and discussing the attempt by each to locate new residences. Father suggest living within close proximity to each other to facilitate a Shared Parenting arrangement. Mother immediately accuses father of never having been interested in daughter prior to separation. The tone is set for the relationship between the parents and that this is clearly going to be a child custody battle movie. Unlike Kramer v Kramer however the child custody battle is actually a subplot to the dominant feature of the film which is a ghost story.

For me this is absolutely ideal as I have a keen interest in the manner in which child custody matters are portrayed and I also enjoy entertaining the fantasy of that a supernatural where people return from the dead actually exists.

The mother and daughter are shown shopping for an apartment which introduces the sales manager, John C Reilly. The building is in shambles but Reilly assures that some planned cosmetic changes will liven the place. The daughter is at first reluctant but quickly, if somewhat mysteriously, embraces the building.

The viewer is then taken back to mediation where the father promises a legal battle because the mother has moved so far away making parenting time exchanges difficult. The film continues to develop the characters and the eccentricities of the daughter which eventually become of concern to her school teacher and others. Meanwhile there is a continuing problem of a water leak in the apartment and flooding of the upstairs apartment which is furnished but unoccupied by the tenants.

The mother consults with an attorney and then heads off to see her daughter at school. The daughter makes mention of her father not liking the school. The mother is then shown meeting with the teacher who states that the father came by to leave his emergency contact information and then, reading the mother's facial expressions, asks if there was a protective order or something baring the father from coming to the school. This provides a very real portrayal of the dynamics between embattled parents and the third-parties that are ensnared in the situation.

At the conclusion of a weekend parenting time the father mentions a scheduling conflict the following weekend and the mother readily agrees to his proposed change. The custody conflict remains at the forefront but is underplayed giving more opportunity for the ghost story and the mysterious dark water to unfold. Eventually the source of the dark water is revealed in a climactic situation that compels the mother and daughter to relocate.

The film concludes with an amicable relationship between the parents being established and the needs of their daughter becoming prominent. It's a warm conclusion more apt for fairy tales than reality but hopefully something that may be a trigger for parents embattled in a child custody case.

If there is a movie that you would like reviewed please send a request to me. The complete list of movies I have reviewed may be viewed here.

If you need assistance with parenting time, custody or support issues please visit my website and contact my scheduler to make an appointment to meet with me.

If you would like to follow my activities more closely then send a friend request to my Political FaceBook page.

Subscribe to this blawg.

More information about child custody rights and procedures may be found on the Indiana Custodial Rights Advocates website.

©2012 Stuart Showalter, LLC. Permission is granted to all non-commercial entities to reproduce this article in it's entirety with credit given.

Who is God?

If you had faith that fire wouldn't burn your skin what would be the number of skin grafts, pain pills or infections needed to convince you that your faith was misplaced?

As an intellectual I have always been resolute in my conviction that man cannot know God. Thus I hold the position of an agnostic. This is not to say that arguments about theism cannot be made. Today I will support my observational-based opinion that God is a malevolent deity.

William of Occam is the philosopher responsible for giving us "Occam's Razor" which provides that given two competing theories that equally explain the data that one should choose the one that posits the least number of entities. Occam's Razor debunks alien abduction. One theory to explain the feeling of being motionless but having auditory awareness is that a complex machine carrying extra-terrestrial creates has traversed space and come to your house for the purpose of retrieving you and conducting experiments on your body. The other is sleep-paralysis.

Now for an examination of God. The Bible, text of the Christian branch of the Judaic cult, tells us that there is one omnipotent, all-loving deity. The other Judaic cults as well as many others tell us of a benevolent God. But how can this be true if there is so much hardship, evil and "sin" in the world? The explanation is that there is a parallel entity called the devil who also seeks to influence our behaviour.

This seems to be a contradiction in a world created by a perfect, all loving God. If God is benevolent and he created the world then why did he also create evil? If you listen to the explanations propounded by the cultists dogma it has to do with tempting our free will. This is a very complex system that includes myths, fear of damnation, a purported luxurious afterlife, condemnation by society and a promise that the discord in your life, which may have brought you to seek the absurdity of institutional religion, is part of a grand scheme for your eventual betterment. There is an alternative explanation though.

Actually, there are two much more plausible explanations. The first, that we are simply evolved beings as Darwin and his predecessor, Diderot, have postulated. We are here by chance and have developed a survival mechanism whereby desirable traits are passed along and those that don't conform to advancement of the species are weeded out. Lack of a fear of heights is a trait that gets weeded out. Those ancestors of ours who were out wandering along the terraces of the cliff side which contained their dwelling, but who had no fear of heights, likely fell to their deaths.

But some believers challenge the evolutionary theory not by trying to disprove the theory but instead asking 'how was the universe brought into existence?' Their answer is, of course, their supreme being as espoused by their particular cult. Occam accounted for this by positing that God may have created all singularities but that once done there was no divine intervention. It's a reconciliation of the two view points; that God created the universe and man in his image, and that man evolved from from a chance configuration of the individual elements. God created the elements -- all matter in the universe -- then those elements started combing and through the near infinite probabilities over billions of years in trillions of galaxies eventually created man as we know ourselves to be here on Earth. But, today, I'd rather focus on the alternate supernatural explanation.

If you were given the whole Biblical story as an adult in full possession of all your mental faculties there is very little chance you would accept it. Adults are generally indoctrinated during times of distress -- death of a loved one, divorce, bankruptcy, major illness/mental condition or some other tragedy -- when they are in need of support and their logical resistance is subdued. The number of perfectly well-adjusted adults who take up religion as a new philosophy is exceedingly small. Likewise someone who was abused as a child with this indoctrination is unlikely to shed a belief in a supernatural being responsible for all of existence. So that is the basis on which I want to posit my theory today.

I have long said that if God exists then he is a malevolent being who answers the prayers of the priests of the pedophilia organization known as the Catholic Church but not the young children who suffer the sexual abuse condoned and covered up by that cult. I think of the possibility of the existence of a God much the way that Occam did -- the creator of existence. Epicurus had long prior argued effectively against the idea of an anthropomorphic god who was cognizant of human affairs.

Epicurus asks, "Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?. Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing?. Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then how can there be evil?" Descarte would later expand on this precept which I came to know before having ever read any of the works of Descarte.

The adherents of the various cults hold to a set of beliefs that there is an all-loving, all-knowing, all-powerful deity. For my examination I will start with the premise that there is an all-powerful deity. We are aware of this deity through our perception. Whether it be through personal reflection or actual conversation with God through prayer or meditation this interaction is subject to the construct of our minds. The same mind that gives us hallucinations, confusion between dreams and what we perceive as reality, or water on a roadway in the dry desert.

Since evil exists there must be a rational explanation to the questions that Epicurus asks. I have always been a big fan of the Twilight Zone television series which I got to watch in syndication as a young child. In Episode 22, The Monsters are Due on Maple Street, alien beings manipulate the environment in a neighborhood. Electricity in houses go on or off, cars will or won't run and residents try to figure out who or what is behind these events. Eventually suspicion turns to each other and before the evening is over one anxious resident has shot another. The beings are then revealed and convey that the results are the same in every neighborhood in which the try this. These beings toyed with their human subjects for their amusements and a social experiment.

So what if God is the same? Before exploring that think of the Indian riddle -- The Blackfooted Indian always tells the truth. The Whitefooted Indian always lies. An Indian with moccasins on approaches you and claims to be an honest Blackfoot. Which is he?

Could it be that God is a malevolent Whitefoot and not the all-loving Blackfoot? Think of God as the all-knowing, all-powerful deity that created your mind and the manner in which it perceives. This malevolent deity tells you that he is an all-loving God which you perceive as true. That he is going to give you eternal life in bliss but you have to follow some rules that he has established for you and delivered to men that he has chosen to receive his message and then deliver to you. He has also told you that there is another force similar to him, but that this force is evil. This force will tempt you and try to turn you against the all-loving God. If you sacrifice your own desires, your ambitions and ultimately your happiness now and worship this all-loving God then you will reap the great rewards that he will bestow upon you later. Finally, that you should not apply logic to the existence of God because that will offend him. You believe all this and have faith in your convictions based upon your perception and likely indoctrination while you were an impressionable child who followed authority and hadn't developed the mental faculties to adequately challenge the absurdity of the stories you were told.

What if there was only one deity? That this one all-knowing, all-powerful deity is a malevolent force who sits aloof projecting thoughts of himself as being an all-loving god and then tosses mayhem, disaster and excruciating pains your way and blames it on an alternate malevolent force.

It is a question that cannot be answered. As Occam postulated though, the answer to two alternate theories should be the one which posits the minimum number of entities. The existence of one malevolent god would easily explain the great paradoxes and contradictions of the organized cults while accounting for the default response that "God works in mysterious ways."

If you would like to explore more philosophical thoughts and pursue a path towards attaining truth then you may wish to visit or become a member of the Center for Inquiry.

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©2008, 2012 Stuart Showalter, LLC. Permission is granted to all non-commercial entities to reproduce this article in it's entirety with credit given.

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