Wednesday, August 17, 2011

The Real Reason Why New Year's Resolutions Fail

Every year people crawl into bed, if they actually make it that far, at some early hour in the morning on New Year's Day with a feeling that it must get better. They awaken to the face their same feelings of an immutable impasse in their lives but boldly declare their resolutions anyway. They are going to get closer with family, become more active, be healthier, lose weight, quit smoking, go back to school, get the credit cards paid off and get organized.

With an enthusiastic zeal they jump right in and start making changes that very day. They soon climb upon their electronic version of the proverbial soapbox and promulgate their their ambitious plan to everyone in their network of friends on social media sites. Updates of their rapid progress and flowing for days. Yet many of these changes are ephemeral. Within a few days or a few weeks, sometimes months for the most steadfast, the excitement, progress and matching public reports have all but disappeared. These once ebullient people slip back into the same destructive behaviours and bad habits which are sometimes exacerbated by the feelings of failure.

The pop-psychology pundits appear as quickly as the resolutions fade to give their annual assessment as to why such a significant portion of our populace is failing at this. It usually goes something like this: People have only made their resolutions because they have been cajoled by others to engage in this annual tradition. They were not ready to make their resolutions and therefore were not invested in them. They often relied upon the spurious advice of self-help gurus.

It should be no surprise then that people are not able to maintain their commitment to change. I disagree though. I believe people want to make the changes that they declare in their resolutions. I believe that the prodding by friends, the ritual timeliness and the advice of some self-help texts can be useful.

I believe that most see New Year's Day as a convenient and expected starting point. However, this is referred to as an external artificial stimulus which positions the person for failure. That is, the resolution was made not because the person was prepared and willing to embark upon the journey of self-improvement on that day but instead the declaration was made because society expects it to be done at that time.

I have seen many people face the same challenges when making their resolutions at any other time of the year. It may be a grandiose goal, seem too exacting, or be based upon some exhaustive schedule. What I feel binds these people to those ritual declarants on the first day of the year is a lack of clarification. A comprehensive plan to ameliorate the initial unpleasantness that some of these changes produce is necessary for effective change. One must delineate the plan in conjunction with the needs and abilities of the individual.

As an example I will use one common resolution which is one I have just completed with great success. That is, to lose weight. I shed 1/3 of my body weight and am now back tomy high school graduation weight.

The problem with most weight lose plans is that they are a weight lose diet. Weight lose diets don't work. Reread that one and let it sink in.

If they did work then you wouldn't be hearing about a new plan every year or so. Most only palliate the weight issue. For any modification of lifestyle to be effective the plan must delineate the process on you as an entire person. It is not necessary to endure unpleasantness as this can be a congenial experience.

There is more to losing weight than calorie restriction. Financial issues, employment, mental health, family discord and other health conditions are all relevant and must be inclusive. It is whether these different dynamics can be harmonized that will determine success or failure.

An effective weight loss plan can include as little as eliminating three food ingredients, while still allowing you to eat all the ice cream that you want. It must be part of a comprehensive life plan though.

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©2008, 2011 Stuart Showalter, LLC. Permission is granted to all non-commercial entities to reproduce this article in it's entirety with credit given.

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