Last night I got summoned by a woman wanting help in a Domestic Violence situation. I wrote about another incident where I was recently called to come assist in a similar situation which I wrote about in So I get called to a Domestic Violence situation.
Last night I came upon the scene to find two neighbors in the yard, an unidentified man and the mother. She is screaming, “He's got my baby, he's got my baby. I just want my baby back!” Immediately inside the house are two men in a battle on the floor. Another neighbor is in the living room holding the baby.
I go in an order the men apart and get the attacker off of the father. The attacker then flees the house. The neighbor puts the baby in the crib and the father heads outside after the attacker who flees with the unidentified man down the road. A neighbor and I ensure that Father doesn't go after the attackers. We go inside to check on the baby but Mother had taken the child.
Father calls the police. An officer, who has previously responded to that residence, arrives while I am still on the phone with the dispatcher. He takes information from Father and the rest of us on scene. Father then goes with the officer.
About an hour later Father is home with his child, the Mother is in jail after being arrested for home invasion and domestic battery, and the police are looking for the other two perpetrators.
These two recent Domestic Violence situations both have something in common besides the woman seeking assistance. The woman was the aggressor or attacker in these incidents. In the case last night Mother was arrested. In the other incident I did not report it to the police.
What is alarming here is that these woman, the criminals, are the ones seeking assistance. They are the ones who feel so emboldened by policies and society's false perception of who a Domestic Violence perpetrator is that they feel that they may commit these crimes without repercussion. There is good reason for them to feel that they won't be held accountable.
Some of what I came to learn about this latest situation from one of the neighbors was that Mother had stabbed Father about three months ago. Father refused the neighbor's request to call the police then. Mother has a Protective Order against Father. Mother brook into Father's home while he was away. Mother had been violent against Father on numerous occasions during the time they still lived together but Father never called the police.
What I got to witness last night was apparently the phantom illusion of a female committing an act of Domestic Violence against a male. Organizations like the female only Indiana Coalition Against Domestic Violence or the Julian Center profit from the common misconception that women do not commit acts of Domestic Violence. However, RADAR provides us with the truth about Domestic Violence.
That truth is what I often witness; that women commit egregious acts of violence against fathers whom with they are in a relationship. The situation last night could very likely have been avoided if Father had done what all men in these situations should do. That is, the first time that a woman becomes violent have witnesses or record the incident and then call the police.
The statistics will continue to support the myth so long as men fail to take the proper action and have these mother's arrested and charged for the crimes they are committing.
Too often men are focused on not wanting to incite the woman further or have been verbally beaten into submission thinking that they could not provide suitable care for the children while the mother is in jail. Men carry their own inhibitions, denying that these women are criminals who are unlawfully attacking them and creating a dangerous environment for the children. Instead they wrongly believe that they did something to upset her and cause this. Further, many believe as it is their responsibility as “man of the house” to maintain order and handle these issues on their own.
It is not something that a man should handle on his own. To be proper men and fathers these victims need to seek outside assistance to help remedy the violence perpetrated against them and in their household. When these women attack it is not about trying to control the man or out of anger against him but, rather, it is commonly an effort to maintain control over the children.
That is what the focus must be on: the children. Any man who would not support a stranger coming into his home, attacking him and endangering the child should not provide an exemption to someone just because she happened to have been the host for the developing fetus before birth.
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